Episode Report Card Demian: F | 3 USERS: B YOU GRADE IT Hippie Bitches
By Demian | Season 6 | Episode 11 | Aired on 01.10.2004
Kidding. Mostly. Commercials.
Back from the break, the Dolt passes The Psycho to Grams -- who's looking an awful lot like Olympia Dukakis in Tales From The City right about now, and that's not necessarily a good thing -- and heads to the center island for a processing summit with Big Gay Chris. They fret about the Glamorous Ladies and the altered timeline for a bit before Big Chris tells the Dolt to escort The Psycho and "Joan Baez" onto the sun porch while he collects some implements necessary to fight The Mighty Spooge. First among said implements? The blender. To puree The Spooge, apparently. No, I don't get it either, but I'm tired, and there's still twenty minutes left to go. Pureed Spooge it is!
Flash to the past. Ludicrously Young Grams enters the attic to discover the glum Glamorous Ladies and the still-alive Stupid Fucking Talent-Free Patrick Cassidy. Babble from the smelly hippies about how violence is never the answer, even when a warlock threatens to kill everyone in the house. LYGrams leaves with the wretched Cassidy to cancel the party. Once alone with her sisters, Raige wonders if they weren't destined to save The Wretchedly Stupid Fucking Talent-Free Patrick Cassidy. Phoebe reminds her that TWSFT-FPC was meant to die that evening, so Death will keep coming back until he gets the job done. Phoebe flips through the Book of Shadows for an anti-warlock potion. Raige agrees to assist her while Piper heads downstairs for "warlock watch."
Flash to the present. The Dolt and Big Gay Chris have stacked every minor appliance in the Manor on the dining room table. The idea is to get The Spooge to attack the minor Manor appliances, thereby electrocuting it. Unfortunately, when the Dolt adds another toaster oven to the mix, the fuses blow out in the basement. Big Gay Chris sighs and trudges off in search of a flashlight. Grams, incidentally, has underscored the entire scene with an inane running commentary on the virtues of non-violence. Shut up, Annoying Hippie Grams.
The shot cuts to Big Gay Chris futzing with a flickering flashlight at the top of the basement stairs. Once he gets a good look at what awaits him below, he flees the staircase, shouting for the Dolt. The Dolt bolts in from the dining room to learn that The Spooge is, in Chris's words, "feeding on the Nexus in the basement." The Dolt edges over to the basement door and eases it open. We get a Dolt POV of an ocean of Spooge happily slurping away at the foot of the stairs before The Spooge shoots a tentacle up towards the Dolt. The Dolt slams the door shut, gasping in panic. Pantywaist.