Episode Report Card Demian: F | 3 USERS: B YOU GRADE IT Hippie Bitches
By Demian | Season 6 | Episode 11 | Aired on 01.10.2004
Oh, gross. Back at the Manor, Groovy Dolt's trying to get into Raige's pants again. Fast-forward. Fast-forward. Fast-forward. Oh, hello, Stupid Fucking Talent-Free Patrick Cassidy. What the hell are you doing in the attic? Spying on Scrawny Robin, apparently, as she attempts to summon a dark demonic force by intoning, "And so I call upon the Crone -- let evil roam inside this home." Alas, Crazy Grace Zabriskie does not make an appearance. Rather, Stupid Fucking Talent-Free Patrick Cassidy confronts Scrawny Robin, so she conjures a Flaming Ball Of Death. Yes! Kill Patrick Cassidy! Raige unfortunately decides to barge in on the proceedings before Stupid Fucking Talent-Free Patrick Cassidy gets his ass fried. Scrawny Robin flings the FBOD at the intruder, but Raige ducks behind a table, so the FBOD scorches a wall. Stupid Fucking Talent-Free Patrick Cassidy makes some long, boring speech about peace and love during which Scrawny Robin could and should have toasted his worthless ass at least 184 times. She eventually conjures another FBOD, but Raige dumps a coffee can full of marbles onto the floor. And tricky must those marbles be, for though Scrawny Robin does not move, they still manage to send her ass-over-end to the carpet. Piper and Phoebe arrive in time to watch Scrawny Robin's FBOD bounce up into the air, hover for a bit, and crash back down into her boobs. Scrawny Robin howls and wails and blazes her merry way down to Hell. "What did I just do?" Raige breathes. "Nothing much," Piper grunts. "Just CHANGED OUR ENTIRE FUTURE." Whoa. Ow. Dial it down a notch, sweetie.
Flash to the present. The Dolt and Big Gay Chris quickly realize that The Spooge is sealing off all of the Manor's exits. Meanwhile, The Doltine Psycho's gazing maliciously at something on the floor. I hope it's not a P.A. With the look that kid's shooting him, someone's going to find the poor guy's brains splattered all over the soundstage before the episode's over. The Dolt turns to ask Grams for her opinion, and we realize exactly what Raige's actions have wrought when Grams appears in the kitchen doorway, clad in tie-dye and spouting some crap about love conquering all and taking the demon into her arms and making it feel safe. And with that, we hit yet another goddamned continuity error for the evening: Grams went to great lengths to establish that, had she not stopped being a hippie, her granddaughters would have died long before they reached their twenties. What does this mean? No Doltine Psycho. No Big Gay Chris. No Ps in 1967. No Dolt hanging around the Manor. No Spooge Demon clinging to the Manor's façade. Hell, no Manor, probably. But best of all? No Charmed! Hooray!