Episode Report Card Demian: F | 3 USERS: B YOU GRADE IT Hippie Bitches
By Demian | Season 6 | Episode 11 | Aired on 01.10.2004
Smelly Hippie Manor. The gals exhort Ludicrously Young Grams to admit the error of her non-violent ways and start offing demons already. Phoebe goofs something about "my sisters and I" saving just scads of innocents by actively fighting evil, and whoops! Their cover's blown. LYGrams had been under the impression the three were just friends, but the Ps quickly disabuse her of that notion and fill LYGrams in on the whole family thing. The Spawn Of Busey blinks in to gnaw on more of the set, demolishing the potions the ladies had been brewing in the process. The Feebs tries to high-fly karate-kick him, but The Spawn Of Busey blinks out. Phoebe breaks both of her ankles when she smashes into the wall feet-first, then suffers severe trauma to the head and neck when she crashes into the floor. Oh, of course she doesn't, but good goddamn, it would have been fun if she had. Feminine gaping. Feminine fear. Audience boredom. Lots and lots of audience boredom.
Flash to the present. The Dolt and Big Gay Chris barricade the basement door with the weight of their own bodies, but The Spooge, it is so crafty. It tries to slime its way out under the door. Big Chris attacks it with those wires he was playing with earlier, to little avail. The boys panic.
Flash to the past, where The Spawn Of Busey is kicking much Glamorous Lady ass. He conjures a Flaming Ball Of Death to commence with the frying, but Ludicrously Young Grams interrupts the festivities by violently TKing his massive teeth into the wall. She exchanges a few determined words with the gals before telekinetically hoisting the SOB into the air and slamming him into another wall. She then shatters a small desk against his head. "Oh, now she's just showing off," Piper gripes. Hee. Finally, and at Phoebe's prompting, LYGrams topples the much-abused grandfather clock onto The Spawn Of Busey, who lapses into unconsciousness. "Now you do something really final," Phoebe helpfully hints. LYGrams squints and ad-libs the following spell:
Snuff this warlock
His days are done,
But make him good
For the ecosystem.
I hate this stupid fucking sucky-ass show.
The Spawn Of Busey smokes a bit before erupting upwards into a spray of daisies. Holly Marie Combs is contractually obliged to deliver an extremely unfunny line about flower power. Phoebe, of all people, announces that in order for the gals to return to the future, all LYGrams need do is reverse the "Return to Sender" spell she cast on the various garments. Because as we all know, Phoebe is the brain trust of the operation. LYGrams smiles and notes that she'll probably cast a memory wipe on herself after the Glamorous Ladies have left, the better to "maintain the cosmic order," or something. "Aww!" Raige whines. "I like this Grams. I don't want to forget you." Raige? Moron? Yes, over here. She's going to cast the spell on herself, fool. I think some of Phoebe's stoopid is rubbing off on you. Smelly hippie hugs for everyone. Onscreen, I mean. I don't want any of that shit around here, thanks very much.