Episode Report Card Demian: F | 3 USERS: B YOU GRADE IT Hippie Bitches
By Demian | Season 6 | Episode 11 | Aired on 01.10.2004
We could, but first we have to head outside for a boring exchange between Darryl and a morbidly obese Teamster about the lumberyard's work stoppage. The lumberyard, for those of you obsessed with such trivial matters, goes by the name of Lipsey and Sons. Darryl counsels patience. "Easy for you to say," the morbidly obese Teamster rifles back. "I've got four mouths to feed!" The other three, presumably, are hidden beneath his dingy sweatshirt. Darryl flusters.
Back inside, Big Gay Chris instructs his feeble-minded aunt to levitate. "When this demon senses your magic," he insists, "it's gonna come fast and hard." And if anyone would know from coming fast and hard, it's Big Gay Chris. Ow! Ew! I'm sorry -- I have no idea where that came from. And as I don't know if I should now giggle or vomit, I'll take this opportunity to point out tonight's first error in logic and/or continuity: If the unnamed demon comes fast and hard when it senses the use of magic, shouldn't it have attacked either of the times Chris orbed in this scene? Well? Shouldn't it? Stupid show. In any event, Piper and Chris step back a bit as Phoebe magically hoists herself into the air. Ominous rumbling sounds erupt from beneath the floorboards as something very large trundles towards Phoebe. A spray of sawdust heralds the arrival of The Mighty Spooge Demon, which bursts from the floor like an emerald-green stream of mucus. The Mighty Spooge morphs its front end into a maw that snaps shut around the levitating Feebs, who hoots and yodels as Piper shrieks and instinctively deploys her Hands Of Discontent.
Outside, Darryl and the Teamsters collectively gape as the sounds of the resulting explosion reach their ears. After a moment, a Spooge-encrusted Piper emerges from the mill to perk, "All clear!" and we slime our way into the opening credits.
No opening travelogue this evening, but we are treated to an odd musical cue as the screen fades up on the Manor's façade: A quick run of notes on a harpsichord, followed by a group of low strings zinging out a steady rhythm as the shot shifts to the kitchen. What an odd choice. Anyway, Piper's at the sink rinsing her hands, while Phoebe, who's changed from her presumably Spooge-encrusted Chinese garment into a flimsy pink robe, offers, "Maybe you should just take me out back and hose me down." Only if it's with a flamethrower, skank. Raige orbs in, babbling apologies for missing the vanquish. Slampiece Buttfuck was a little slow leaving the Castle that morning, so she couldn't orb out any sooner than she did, because she asked Buttfuck not to use his magic for some reason, which means she can't use hers in front of him. Which also apparently means she can't sneak into one of the Castle's many, many rooms, lock the door behind her, and orb out that way. Because she's an idiot, and this show sucks. The gals trade tales of their new lives apart. Unfortunately, this involves another gag-inducing "proverb" from the Feebs, accompanied of course by The Sprightly Mandolin Of Ancient Chinese Secrets. Just...why don't you...rrrgh...auuaugh...SHUT UP! SHUT UP! SHUT UP! SHUT! UP!