Episode Report Card Demian: F | 3 USERS: B YOU GRADE IT Hippie Bitches
By Demian | Season 6 | Episode 11 | Aired on 01.10.2004
A swirling cloud of glowing golf balls materializes to deposit the Visible Spectral Presence Of Grams at the center of the ring of candles, and this episode just got a hell of a lot better. We love Jennifer Rhodes. Unfortunately, the cloud that brought her also activates The Mighty Spooge on Chris's sneaker, and it expands to engulf his entire foot and part of his lower leg. Drew Fuller performs a dreadfully embarrassing pantomime of trying to shake The Spooge off as Grams corporealizes to greet Phoebe and Piper with warm words and outstretched arms. "We've got a problem," Piper begins. Eyeing The Spooge, which has now overrun the lower half of Chris's body, Grams cracks, "You're not the only one." The Dolt instructs Big Gay Chris to orb out. Chris testily reminds his father that use of magic only serves to make The Spooge grow faster. "You must be the new Whitelighter!" Grams sings as The Spooge quickly overtakes the upper half of his body. In conspiratorial tones and through a bright, false smile, she whispers to the Dolt, "He doesn't look very qualified for the job." Heh. Piper and Phoebe urge Chris to orb, but he obstinately and vigorously shakes his head at their suggestion. "Oh, for heaven's sake, listen to them," Grams condescends. "We'll find a way to vanquish the foul thing later." Chris caves after The Mighty Spooge covers his face, and dissolves into an orb cloud within The Spooge itself. Piper deploys her Hands, and The Spooge shatters into thousands of pieces on the floor. As Chris orbs back in, the Spooge bits ominously recede into the floorboards. Phoebe, Piper, Grams, and the Dolt eye each other warily as Big Gay Chris ruefully shakes his shaggy mane right into the commercial break. Dude. Haircut. Now.
Piper and Phoebe lounge on one of the parlor sofas as Grams hoots incredulously, "You and [Raige] moved out? When?" "A couple of weeks ago," Phoebe shrugs, "but we're handling everything." "You have [Raige] stuck in the past," Grams grits, barely holding it together, "and a demonic blob roaming the Manor -- exactly how are you handling things?" "We're still in an adjustment period," Piper testily replies. Grams leaps to her feet to howl, "There would be no 'adjustment period' if you were living under one roof! Why in heaven's name did you move out?" "To be with Jason?" Phoebe meekly offers. Grams's head nearly explodes. Heh. "You're the oldest," she cries, wheeling on Piper. "How could you let them move out?" "You know," Piper answers, stiffening her spine a bit, "it wasn't that hard, because they deserve a shot at a normal life." "They're not normal," Grams shrieks, "and neither are you! When are you going to learn that?" Hooray! Go Grams! Go Grams! Go, go, go Grams! Roll your eyes at that if you must, but know that I actually screamed, "FINALLY!" at the TV when Jennifer Rhodes delivered that line. I need help. Piper retreats a bit but snippily insists, "I guess never." Grams heaves a beleaguered sigh and waves her hands around disbelievingly. "All this over men. How many times have I told you men are utensils? You use them, wash them, and then throw them in a drawer until you need them again." Speaking of tools, here comes the Dolt. He and Big Gay Chris tiptoe into the parlor from the dining room to demand silence, as they're trying to track The Mighty Spooge by the sounds it makes as it slithers through the house. Chris presses his palms against a likely hiding wall, which immediately bulges out a bit as The Spooge, um, tries to get friendly with him, or something. Chris pulls back and reveals that they need Raige, because it took the Power of Three to vanquish The Spooge in the future. Yeah, yeah. He said his future didn't include Raige, because she died when Boobarella attacked the Manor. He was either lying, or his past, and thus his memories of his past, are shifting with each day he remains with the gals. It works for me, so whatever.