Episode Report Card Demian: F | 3 USERS: B YOU GRADE IT Hippie Bitches
By Demian | Season 6 | Episode 11 | Aired on 01.10.2004
Pounding like the feetOf ten thousand soldiers.
Why?
WHY?
Shut the fuck up, Stupid Patrick Cassidy. Asshole. Smelly hippies applaud. Raige is getting into all this bullshit. Ludicrously Young Grams babbles something idiotic about peace and love defeating war and hate. Shut the fuck up, LYGrams. Finally -- finally -- Piper and Phoebe materialize in the middle of the park, and oh Christ. Piper's wearing a puffy blue gypsy blouse beneath a vile vest in order to hide the fact that Holly Marie Combs is, by now, thirty-seven months pregnant. Phoebe's clad in some revolting Op-Art inspired blouse with belled sleeves and matching headband, over some nasty-ass bell-bottomed jeans. LYGrams greets them kindly, but adds with a whisper, "You shouldn't use your magic so openly." I'd have skipped that bit were it not for what follows. As in, right away. Stupid show. As the Glamorous Ladies huddle for a processing summit, the high whine of police sirens pierces the air. "It's the pigs," grunts Stupid Fucking Talent-Free Patrick Cassidy. I hope the cops pummel his ass to a bloody pulp. A hot police officer strides through the throng of smelly, lice-infested deadbeats, ordering them to disperse. Some weasel with felonious facial hair and a pukka-shell necklace leads the gathering of smelly, lice-infested deadbeats in a chant of "Hell no, we won't go." Way to misappropriate an anti-draft slogan, git. Hot Cop and his colleagues reach for their nightsticks. Yes! Hippie beatdown! Hooray! Unfortunately, Ludicrously Young Grams lifts her hands into the air and recites the following:
They have no right,
They have no power:
Turn their hate-sticks
Into flowers.
Hot Cop's nightstick glows white and morphs into a bouquet of daisies. So much for that warning about using magic openly, huh? Shut the fuck up, Stupid LYGrams. Christ. With his long-awaited and much-desired hippie beatdown so rudely thwarted, Hot Cop decides to arrest Piper and Phoebe, though presumably not for crimes against fashion. And God. Scrawny Robin snatches Raige away at the last minute before she, too, would have ended up in the clink.
The Clink. Phoebe and Piper are locked into a holding cell, right next to a mouthy Black Panther type by the name of Luther Morris as portrayed by -- yes, you guessed it -- Dorian Gregory. Someone in makeup took a black marker and drew a circle around his lips. I think it's meant to represent a groovy goatee. They've also given him a stylin' Foxy Brown afro wig. Dorian? You may now ask to be released from your contract. Seriously. The money's not worth it anymore. Be free! Piper and Phoebe delightedly note Luther's resemblance to his police officer son in an "Isn't it ironic?" sort of way that makes me want to beat both of them until they're dead.