Episode Report Card Demian: F | 3 USERS: B YOU GRADE IT Hippie Bitches
By Demian | Season 6 | Episode 11 | Aired on 01.10.2004
WHATEVER. Anyway, where was I? Oh, yeah: The gals are sickened and repulsed that the Dolt knew Grams all those many years ago, Big Gay Chris cuts through the crap to suggest they summon the Actual Corporealized Presence Of Grams to figure out exactly what's going on, and Piper and Phoebe head off for some candles. Scene.
Back in the land of the smelly hippies, Raige, Ludicrously Young Grams, and Robin The Scrawny Blonde watch the stupid fucking light show. Amid a crowd of lice-infested freeloaders, three Whitelighters manipulate a string of orbs above their heads to form a peace sign, a heart, and the symbol for infinity. Ew. One of these Whitelighters is, of course, the Dolt, bedecked in love beads and one of the assiest wigs I've ever seen in a televised entertainment. He looks like Jon Voight circa Midnight Cowboy, which makes me want to call him The Midnight CowDolt for the rest of the recap, but that movie didn't come out until 1970, and besides, it's too much to type. Groovy Dolt it is. The stupid fucking light show ends to general applause and comments like, "Far out," and we head back over to Raige for some exposition. Seems Ludicrously Young Grams is hosting "a magical be-in" at the Manor that evening, and all of the people currently offending every single one of my sensibilities are witches and Whitelighters gathered for the event. When Raige quotes Timothy Leary's "tune in, turn over, drop dead" thing from the actual Human Be-In, Scrawny Robin provides us with a date for these past events -- seems the Human Be-In is scheduled for "tomorrow at Golden Gate Park," so LYGrams's little party must be happening on January 13th. Raige claims she has foreknowledge of future events, and also admits to her orbing abilities. This draws the attention of Groovy Dolt, who sidles over to her with, "Right on. Lay some orbs on us, sister," and Raige tries to summon an 8-track tape but can't because she doesn't have her powers in the past, and the Dolt calls this "performance anxiety" and slings an arm around Raige's waist to offer her "some private coaching" in "an empty room upstairs," and he does so in the sleaziest way imaginable, and it's all so very horrible, and I want to die. Seriously. Somebody -- anybody -- come to Chicago right now and shoot me in the head. Please? Huh? No? Well, fuck you too.
There's so much more of this hippie bullshit, so I'm going to cut to the important bit. Without warning, everyone in the Manor save Scrawny Robin freezes, and a black-clad Jake Busey blinks into the parlor. The Spawn Of Busey, with Scrawny Robin's assistance, intends to, like, kill all the witches and Whitelighters that evening so he can gain control of the Nexus beneath the Manor. Or something like that. Just know that The Spawn Of Busey promises "a massacre." Having thus justified his presence in this episode, The Spawn Of Busey blinks out, and everyone unfreezes, which brings us to yet another major continuity error: Witches don't freeze. This stupid fucking show? Still sucking.