Episode Report Card Demian: C | 178 USERS: C+ YOU GRADE IT Revenge Of The Big Gay Done One (Part The First)
By Demian | Season 5 | Episode 22 | Aired on 2003.05.11
Phoebe enters with Lead Dwarf and the C.S.I. leprechaun, who approaches Tacky Raige to give her a quick once-over. The leprechaun decides that, in addition to his magical trouser nuggets, they'll need pixie dust to free Raige. "I'll get a fairy," Lead Dwarf deadpans. "I left my axe downstairs, anyway." Raise your hands if you thought he was going to drag that shirtless oracle back up to the attic. See? It's not just me. While all this is going on, Phoebe crosses to the Book for a brief confab with her sister and her nephew. When Piper wonders why the Titans would abduct Whitelighters, Big Gay Chris basically duhs, "For the orbs, of course." Piper puts three and eleven together to get the season and episode numbers for the last time we saw this brand of theft as a plot device. She gets a look of frantic panic on her face, and runs off for the Dolt. "What did she just figure out?" Phoebe asks. "Nothing good," Big Gay Chris confirms.
Down in the Bridal Boudoir, the Dolt observes as Freaky Tiny Iguana Lady mojos a blanket around The Woefully Neglected Done One, and this is just fucking ridiculous. The kid in the crib is not The Achingly Cute Doltine Cracker, Quasimodo, Wyatt-San, The Precious Done One Log, or The Rapidly Aging Drag Queen. It's some entirely new goddamned infant, likely hired for this episode alone. This kid's blond, for fuck's sake. Is this some kind of running gag, like the Durwood thing on Bewitched? I wouldn't mind if it were, but either acknowledge it as such or stop switching around the fucking kids. Whatever. Piper races into the room to warn the Dolt of the threat to the ever-useless Elders. The Dolt's off like a prom dress.