Episode Report Card Demian: C | 178 USERS: C+ YOU GRADE IT Revenge Of The Big Gay Done One (Part The First)
By Demian | Season 5 | Episode 22 | Aired on 2003.05.11
ANY-way. P3. Elise Rothman, Girl Editor joins Phoebe at the bar for some last-minute auction preparations, a bit of leering at the construction crew setting up the stage, and a small amount of Chronic gossip. I doubt we'll ever again enjoy the pleasure of the hedgehog's company, so let's skip ahead to the point where Raige orbs onto the dance floor in plain view of the twenty-odd people in the club. Idiot. Phoebe agrees with me, and skitters across the room to hiss, "Are you out of your mind?" "Turns out I'm not," Raige retorts. She's studied "tarot cards, the I-Ching, runes, and tea leaves," and they've all told her the same thing: Something monstrous is brewing in the supernatural world, and that something is affecting the natural world's weather patterns. Raige believes the magical disruption might even lead to hurricanes and plagues and earthquakes and whatnot. Just go with it. Raige scried the globe for evil, and passes a windbreaker to the Feebs before grabbing her hand to drag her out of the frame. "We're going on a trip," Raige announces as the screen flares white.
By the time the image returns, Phoebe and Raige have reached the pre-credits Antarctic ice chamber, and no, I have no idea why the entire area's suddenly flooded with sunlight when it was dark enough to require torches mere hours ago. I hate this show. Raige orders Phoebe to force a premonition off the black smear left by Brawny John's abrupt departure. Phoebe does so, but chooses not to share it with the audience, and I can't remember the last time we saw one of her black-and-white visions. I also can't remember the last time I cared. Phoebe finishes giving Raige the short version of earlier demonic events just as the ground beneath them rumbles and shakes. The two gals disappear beneath a cascade of quake-loosened snow as the shot cuts to the crappy CGI tornado finally freeing this Cronus person from his ice pillar, and wow. Cronus really needs to put down the needle and back away from the steroids. Bogtrotter returns to earth in time to witness Bitch Tits hurling dark threats of vengeance at an unspecified "Them" in the sky. We're twenty minutes in, and the word "Titans" has yet to be uttered by anyone onscreen.