Episode Report Card Jacob Clifton: C | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT New Modes
By Jacob Clifton | Season 3 | Episode 1 | Aired on 09.25.2008
Firstly, Betty's going to get a promotion at Mode within the year, by working hard and staying focused. Note how she leaves out two essential building blocks for reaching this goal. Firstly, she forgot the part about "not getting sucked into Wilhelmina's ridiculously baroque schemes," which science shows is 73% of the reason Betty's in her third year with the same job title. And secondly, she completely forgot what should be Rule Number One, which is "NO HELPING MEADES DO ANYTHING EVER," because that inevitably and inexorably leads to her ruin, usually within minutes. Just stay off the Hell Bus of Meade Family Bullshit and you will be fine.
Two. No romantic entanglements. Which would be fine, if they meant it, but they don't. I mean, she got rid of the two albatrosses but that doesn't mean she's going to avoid romantic entanglements; beautiful boys with sick bodies will continue to throw themselves at her in every episode of this show, or else we all stop watching. I like that Betty's got the spotlight back on herself, but this shit is starting to seem kinda lofty.
Three: moving out. To a New! Apartment! In The City! Every time this phrase or something similar is uttered, drink. I like the idea of Betty living by herself, not because I don't love her family, but it's like Betty, you're what, thirty-six? Thirty-seven? Come on now. Hilda and Ignacio are none too impressed, of course, but Justin throws down some feminine energies the likes of which you've never seen.
Ignacio and Betty fight their way down the street toward the burger place, and he's all over how she can't afford a NATC and she's not ready for a NATC and basically acting like it's NATC Germany and then in this corner she's like, "I saved money and rode bicycles! With lesbians! I'm a grownup!" Points for talking about her lost innocence on the biking trip, but no. Betty's wearing: a flowery dress that makes her look fat, hair that is easily three feet across but basically a variation on her usual hair, and canary yellow socks. She's fairly presentable right now, actually.
"Experiencing things, that's the whole point! Like trans-American lady love!" He tells her she's being naïve, which she totally is, and she freezes him out, which is also correct. Her face is still getting thinner, which makes the fake braces jut out more like a TV vampire, which in turn makes her look like a Lynda Barry character. Ignacio takes off and heads into the burger place; his boss is Kimmie Keagan, Betty's high-school torturer.