Episode Report Card Jacob Clifton: C | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT New Modes
By Jacob Clifton | Season 3 | Episode 1 | Aired on 09.25.2008
Anyway, Betty strikes up a convo about how Kimmie's been cutting Ignacio's hours, and Kimmie says this is "pretty much" true, because he is a slacker. Betty disagrees, saying that he's a "hardworking, good person." Both of which are true, I guess. Kimmie offers another theory, that maybe he's just getting old: "What is he, like a hundred?" Kimmie finds the fact that Betty's about to snap hilarious: "What. I'm not a cheeseburger, so I know you're not going to eat me." (Wait 'til you hear about Peg, there, Tiger.) Then they get into a foodfight, and that? Demeans us all. Important points: Kimmie deepfries the idea notebook and says some (INT: BURGER PLACE. Research shows that clueless white people sometimes co-opt black lingo from twenty years ago, which is funny) dialogue passably well ("Oh No You Dint!") and Hilda throws a salad bowl at her...
Just as salad's being tossed onto a plate at the Meade family lunch in what appears to be some kind of ... upscale version of Soup Or Salad? Which is not only something of which I had no previous knowledge, but a total impossibility. I frown on this, whatever it is. Claire is talking about how Hot Flash is necessary because "we," meaning Claire and people like her, need a forum to discuss "aging, menopause, personal dryness..." Daniel sounds the TMI klaxon and then yells at DJ to eat his déjeuner before dessert, DJ's not having it, he gets some Gallic attitude, Daniel asserts himself for the first time ever in his entire life and lo, it is sexy; they fight over the cake and it hits Alexis in the silk shirt which of course hurts her feelings right where her brain used to be, everything goes to hell; the chaotic mess that Meades leave in their wake separately is increased exponentially when they are gathered in one location, the center cannot hold, stay away from the Meades, the end.
Kimmie throws fries at Betty and Hilda straight from the fryer, which is ballsy! Betty shouts, "You mean, mean person," which she and Hilda agree is Betty-bodaciously lame, and Betty manages to turn it around on her by saying that "[being a bitch] doesn't come naturally to everyone," and finally a cop comes in and tells them to fucking grow up and stop this stupid scene from proceeding any longer, as a sign of respect to this show's dwindling audience. Kimmie tells them also, obviously, Ignacio is totally fired; Betty rushes her and gets nicked again, and Kimmie just laughs. "How ya like me now, UGLY BETTY?" I... like you a lot, Bitchy Kimmie. (Frankly, more than Betty this week. Or last season, from the stupid plagiarism bullshit episode forward.)