Episode Report Card Demian: D+ | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Shannen sings!
By Demian | Season 3 | Episode 24 | Aired on 01.19.1997
Back from break, Shannen thunders her way out of the double-wide into her Beetle. She fills Nick in on what she’s learned. I have now decided that Nick is, indeed, kind of cute. Sorry for the "Little Drummer Boy" cracks back there, pal. Nick wonders what they should do now. Shannen determines all she need "do is watch [her] back," and the Psycho Slut Stalker Girl will take care of the rest on her own. Cut to the Psycho Slut Stalker Girl taking care of the rest on her own. This next bit has got to be the funniest scene in the whole damn movie. The Glamorous Goddesses of House Delta kneel in concentric candlelit circles on the floor of the parlor. They giggle with scatterbrained sororal glee every now and then. The first time I saw this, I had absolutely no idea what the hell was going on. Nevertheless, I nearly wet myself snickering at the low regard in which the filmmakers so obviously hold sorority girls. Various Glamorous Goddesses, including Paige and Alison, giggle and beam at each other. Crazy Chloë pouts -- all together now -- crazily! and blows out her candle. Or The Candle, as in the one at the center of whatever the hell it is these Prada-shod crackheads are tittering about. Other Girl shrieks, "[Chloë]! What are you doing? You’re mental! Why would you do that?" Paige clenches her perfect little teeth and grits, "The girl who got pinned is supposed to blow out The Candle." "That would be Holly," chimes Alison. Chloë demands a party for herself. The Others impatiently remind her of that pesky little first step of actually getting pinned before one can have a "pinning ceremony." And no, Chloë, riding Simon’s little bitty hobbyhorse doesn’t count. Other Girl urges calm, announcing they will simply begin the ceremony again. Holly’s Glamorous little head is about to pop like a Glamorous little blister: "We can’t! It’s ruined! Everything’s ruined!" Chloë crazes something about everyone believing Shannen, even though Shannen hasn’t proved anything yet. "What are you talking about?" ices Paige. Chloë grabs her candle and leaps to her feet, shouting, "Only I know! Only I know!" She stomps out of the circles of girls, and her skirt is so short and tight, I’m thinking a lot of those ladies just caught a glimpse of more Chloë then they ever wanted to see. If you know what I mean. "Thanks for a beautiful moment," Holly hurls at Chloë’s retreating form. My New TV Girlfriend Paige ends this, the best scene in the entire movie, with "We lost [Shannen]. For this? Shyeah!" Whee!Previous 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25Next