Episode Report Card Demian: D+ | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT We'll have an old-fashioned wedding.
By Demian | Season 4 | Episode 15 | Aired on 03.13.2002
Our Lady Of The Dead Heathers. Yes, gentle reader, the church from that movie is now playing host to Phoebe Halliwell's wedding, and I'm appalled I didn't notice it before now. The statue of the cross-bearing angel is off to the side in this establishing exterior shot, and the infamous baptismal font appears in the background of some of the subsequent interior scenes. Alyssa couldn't have known about this, could she? Anyway, Darryl and The Sole lead various guests to their pews while the members of a string quartet saw away at their instruments in the balcony above. I'd point out that, as established by precedent, The Source Of All Eeevil cannot enter a house of worship, but maybe Heather Duke gave him a pass out of spite for the bride. The Dolt skitters up to The Sole to tell him that Phoebe would like to speak with him in the bridesmaids' locker room. After noting with faux anxiety that the ceremony should have started fifteen minutes ago, The Sole rather convincingly plays dumb and heads out for the chat.
Over in the locker room, Raige passes a slip of paper to Piper. Piper recites the following while setting the sheet alight with a candle on the coffee table:
Guiding spirits,
Hear our plea.
Annul this magic.
Let it be.
Nothing happens. InvisiPhoebe: "Can you see me?" Piper: "Not even your breasts." I want to laugh, and yet I find I can't even smirk. So sad when an episode drags one's spirits down like this. Well, it's either that or the Botox, I suppose. Raige despairs. That was the last reversal spell they found in the Book. InvisiPhoebe thanks the gals for their worthy effort and decides they'd better call off the ceremony. Just then, The Sole raps his knuckles on the door. Piper and Raige exit discreetly so Julian McMahon can have a private conversation with a floating bouquet, a floating handkerchief, and a floating hand mirror. InvisiPhoebe drips InvisiSnot as she snuffles that she wanted the perfect wedding, not for herself, but for her beloved. The Sole awkwardly embraces his naked InvisiFiancée and agrees to postpone the proceedings. Piper and Raige clomp back in to announce that they've figured out a way to save the day. Piper hustles The Sole out to the chapel, instructing him to inform the quartet that they can begin the processional. The Sole makes a few "whuh?" faces, but steps out of the room as ordered.