Episode Report Card Demian: D+ | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT We'll have an old-fashioned wedding.
By Demian | Season 4 | Episode 15 | Aired on 03.13.2002
Crypt-cam. A bald, black-cassocked gent with a pockmarked face and a bushy goatee punches through a stone burial vault with a sledgehammer. "I saw some witches poking around this crypt one night a couple, three years back," he says. "I think this is where they buried it." D'Eartha appreciatively notes, "I can always count on you to help." The gent pauses to nod at her, "Well, you're one of the few left. The dark priesthood's a lonely calling these days," he continues. "I haven't seen a human soul in my collection plate in months." D'Eartha promises to make a donation after her current mission has been completed. "Bless you, child," he says with a bit of surprise. Here is where I would insert a joke about the diocesan pederasts of Boston if I cared enough to bother. Which I don't, due primarily to my belief that Cardinal Law's attempts at making a positive change will lead nowhere. Besides, aren't altar boy jokes terribly passé? Prior Pock removes a small casket from the vault and totes it over to a nearby bier. He warns D'Eartha, "It's not a wise move to unearth a Lazarus Demon." He calls them "mean and unreliable -- a bad combination." He notes further that once a Lazarus Demon has been vanquished, one must bury the demon's remains in order to prevent future resurrections. D'Eartha snaps that she's well aware of the properties of Lazarus Demons. Well, we in the viewing audience aren't, honey, so give the guy a chance to get through the exposition, okay? Prior Pock would like to know what "a wise old seer" like D'Eartha would want with "one of these messy creatures." That's for D'Eartha to know and Pock to find out, so nyeaaah! Pock cocks an eyebrow and inquires as to the new Source. He's heard the rumors, you know. D'Eartha admits that "a new Source has risen," but declines to elaborate. Prior Pock graciously allows as how the new Source should be thankful to have D'Eartha on his side. However, he has a question: "You've always worked in a strictly advisory capacity, and yet here you are digging up demons?" "So?" D'Eartha barks, a bit hastily. "So, what's in it for you?" prods Pock. D'Eartha cautiously drops her guard an inch or two and fills Prior Pock in on The Sole's foreseen son. Prior Pock smirks, "And you'll be the hand that rocks his cradle?" "Once I get rid of his mother," D'Eartha smiles back at him. "Very nice," Pock states, with much wiggling of the eyebrows.
Prior Pock wrests the lid from the casket and scatters the box's contents across the flagstones in the mausoleum. The dust and clots of dirt slowly congeal and rise up to morph into Coolio. I have to ask, what's up with his hair? I did a search on "Coolio's hair" to see if some enterprising grad student had published a thesis on how Coolio is subverting a racist paradigm through his coiffure by re-imagining the pickaninny as a figure of African-American strength and menace, but all the search gave me were multiple listings of a Letterman Top Ten list involving Coolio's hair strangling CBS interns. Anyway, Coolio glares like an educated fool with money on his mind. He should take his fee from this episode and hire a new stylist. He's also wearing a dusty Dickensian topcoat that has seen better days. The corners of D'Eartha's lips twitch into a slight half-smile as Prior Pock bows his head and asks her to "tell the new Source [Pock] live[s] to serve him."