Episode Report Card Sara M: A+ | 1 USERS: A+ YOU GRADE IT The Dorky Decimal System
By Sara M | Season 11 | Episode 9 | Aired on 12.04.2004
Noah dashes through the New York Streets and enters the Library, carrying a portfolio and wearing his best suit. He makes his way to the interview area, only to find a very long line of applicants. Very, very long: it goes up countless flights of stairs. Replace the people with cars and the stairs with asphalt, and you're looking at my commute to work. Fortunately, a dissolve spares us from having to spend the rest of the movie watching Noah Wyle in line. Now he's at the front, watching a sobbing lady walk out of her interview. "Next!" yells Jane Curtin. Noah decides that he's not going to do this, and tries to walk away. But Jane Curtin sees all, and calls him into the room.
Inside the room -- an ornately decorated Great Hall-type of affair with, surprisingly no books in it -- Noah takes a seat about twenty feet away from Jane Curtin's desk. "What makes you think you could be The Librarian?" she asks him. Noah says that he has read a lot of books, then chuckles nervously. "Don't try to be funny," says Jane. "What makes you think you could be The Librarian?" Noah goes through his librarian credentials, which include your typical knowledge of the Dewey Decimal system, but Jane isn't having that either. "What makes you think you're The Librarian?" she says. Noah doesn't really know what to say. "Stop wasting my time," says Jane, and asks him to tell her something that none of the other interviewees can. Noah approaches Jane and says the following: "You have mononucleosis, your marriage broke up two months ago, you broke your nose when you were four, and you live with three cats." Jane's like, "uh..." Noah Sherlock Holmeses how he knows this: she has swollen lymph nodes, a not-completely-disappeared ring-shaped indentation on her ring finger, a scar typically given to children under the age of six with reset noses, and three different types of cat hair on her blazer: "A white Himalayan, a tortoiseshell, and an orange-striped tabby." Jane says she was five when she broke her nose.
Suddenly, the disembodied voice of Bob Newhart rings through the hall and asks Noah what is more important than knowledge. "The things that make life worth living can't be thought here, they must be felt here," says Noah, conveniently forgetting to give his mother credit for that little gem. Jane picks up the receiver of her antique phone and tells someone to dismiss all the candidates. Noah turns to leave, but she tells him that he has a six-month trial period. If he doesn't screw it up, he will officially be "The Librarian." And if he's ever a minute late, she will dock his pay. Noah says that's great, but that he wants to know exactly what he did right in this interview so that he can do that "next time." Appearing out of thin air, Bob Newhart says that there won't be a "next time." He tells Noah that he's about to embark on a "wondrous adventure."
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