Episode Report Card Sara M: A+ | 1 USERS: A+ YOU GRADE IT The Dorky Decimal System
By Sara M | Season 11 | Episode 9 | Aired on 12.04.2004
A man with a silly-looking snake tattoo on his hand stares out the window of a high-rise. "Everything went exactly as you said," says Kelly Hu, who is wearing a big black velour pageboy cap, like that is appropriate cat burglar attire. I mean, come on now. The man turns to face her so that we see his profile in silhouette, and that is the unmistakable chin of Kyle MacLachlan.
Morning! Jane Curtin rushes to open The Library, and Noah comes out from behind a corner with two coffee cups. He informs her that she is one minute late, so she'll have to dock her own pay. Then he offers her a coffee. "I hate a kiss-ass," Jane says, before taking the larger of the two cups.
Inside The Library, Jane is alarmed to find the prostrate forms of The Library elevator guards. We know she's alarmed because she flatly says, "Oh my."
Noah and Jane have propped Bob up on a couch and are administering first aid in the form of a wet washcloth to the forehead, when really, a trip to the Emergency Room would probably be more helpful for the seventy-five-year-old man with a severe concussion. I think Bob wakes up, although it's hard to tell since he doesn't really look much different when he's conscious. He, Jane, and Noah move to check out the surveillance footage from Bob's desk, which is on a screen that comes rising out of the desk when Bob pushes a special button. Noah loves this feature, expressing more surprise about it than he did when confronted with, say, the box full of screaming ghost hell babies.
On the surveillance footage -- which is of remarkable quality compared to the only surveillance footage I've seen, which was of my apartment complex's laundry room when my manager and I tried to find out who stole two loads of my clothes from the dryers. It was so grainy that even though we could see someone grabbing my stuff, we couldn't make out any distinguishing features and the mystery remains unsolved. We see Kelly Hu and some assorted henchmen attack the guards, and Jane says that they knew about some failsafe feature in the room that would only give them time to take one item. We see Kelly grab a big staff. "They [pause] took the Spear of Destiny," says Bob. Jane asks Noah if he knows anything about the Spear of Destiny, other than the obvious fact that it has a very silly name. Noah says it's the spear that pierced Jesus when he was on the cross. He exposits that the Spear has mystical powers, and that whoever possesses it will have control of the world. A Google search also says that it is a classic computer game. But I'm pretty sure they're talking about the Jesus one. Bob further exposits that everyone from Charlemagne to Napoleon has had possession of the Spear. Noah blows this off, saying that Kelly Hu only has one fragment of the spear.
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