Episode Report Card Sara M: A+ | 1 USERS: A+ YOU GRADE IT The Dorky Decimal System
By Sara M | Season 11 | Episode 9 | Aired on 12.04.2004
Noah enters the lobby, wearing only a sheet, and addresses everyone in Mongolian. He asks if anyone has seen the "beautiful woman" he was with. No response. Perhaps he should supply them with a more accurate description, like "Has anyone seen a woman in a constant state of eye-roll?" Noah starts to freak out, and Bob suddenly appears on a television set in the lobby. Noah runs up to set and explains that Nicole and the spear piece are missing, meaning that either they were taken, or that Nicole has been in league with Edward this whole time. A third, unmentioned option is that she just took the spear piece out for some fresh air. Bob tells Noah not to worry just yet; only a "great power" would be able to fuse the three spear pieces together. Although I thought it was previously established that even the possession of one spear piece, like Hitler had, was still a bad, bad thing in the wrong hands. Anyway, the "great power" would have to be an electromagnetic field registering over "fifteen" on some scale of electromagnetic field measurement that I don't know and that Bob didn't pronounce articulately enough for me to figure out. Noah says that's great; the only time something registering that much power happened was during a full moon at the Great Pyramid when it had its capstone. And the Great Pyramid no longer has its capstone. And then Noah stops short and has a flashback to earlier in the movie, when he was "helping" to build that scale-model pyramid. "The next full moon is tomorrow night," Noah says. He tells Bob that he'll see him then. Then he runs off. Then he remembers that he needs to wear clothes. Meanwhile, the two Mongolian guys who have been hanging out in front of the TV this whole time are like, "Dude. Bob Newhart just appeared on our TV. Cool."
Noah has traveled another six thousand miles during the commercial break, and is now back in New York. He tries to break into a building, but his attempt to shoulder open the door is met with painful failure. Fortunately, Bob Newhart has shown up, and he has a better way to get into the building: through the ventilation system. Noah looks around and asks where the Marines he requested are. Bob pulls back part of his shirt to reveal that he has a Marine tattoo on his chest. And I love Bob Newhart and all, but a close-up of his pec was not necessary or expected or desired. "Semper fi," says Bob. "You were a Marine?" says Noah. Bob nods proudly. "Let's, uh, let's get that spear back," he says.
Inside the museum, we see that a small group has assembled around the pyramid. And they're singing. Noah notices his professor in the group, but isn't too surprised the he is evil since he did give Noah an A-. At this point, I was going to give this movie a D, so I can't imagine what that would have made me. Bob just looks at Noah. Edward, Vin Diesel, Kelly, and Nicole exit the pyramid, and Edward addresses the crowd. He says that the moment they've all been waiting for is coming. Kelly shoves Nicole to the ground. Noah wonders aloud if Edward ever actually dies. Bob says that it appears as though Nicole is not there of her own free will. So how did the Brotherhood break into Noah's hotel room and kidnap her and find the spear piece without even waking Noah up? Oh, but now it's time for Edward, spear pieces in hand, to call for the power of the gods or whatever. Surprisingly, they listen to him, and a beam of light from the sky hits the pyramid and lights the whole area up. Then it recedes until it is focused on just the capstone. Edward, Kelly, Vin, and Nicole re-enter the pyramid as the Brotherhood shouts some cheer they made up to encourage them.
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