Episode Report Card Demian: C+ | 186 USERS: C+ YOU GRADE IT Welcome To Fantathy Thithtern!
By Demian | Season 6 | Episode 6 | Aired on 2003.10.26
A bizarre quick-frame montage of three people waiting for the Number One bus to California and Sixth from Chinatown whisks us away from the Manor to dump us in the back of Chronic's limousine. No, seriously. Frame through that transition yourself and tell me if there was anything else of interest going on. And yes, I'm loosely defining "of interest," so feel free to mention that riveting shot of the lower two-thirds of a streetlamp if you must. Phoebe's unease increases as Chronic admits that he's already lined up affiliates in the twelve largest United States media markets to carry Ask Phoebe. Phoebe protests that things are moving far too quickly, but he just waves a hand at her all, "Stop whining." The bodyguard announces they're approaching "the penthouse," which only adds to Phoebe's mounting tension, as neither she nor Chronic lives in anything remotely resembling a high-rise. Wow. You really can't place a phrase like "mounting tension" next to "Phoebe" without eliciting a rapid-fire burst of revolting imagery, can you? Let's not dwell on those unpleasant thoughts, though, because something many of you have been praying for is about to unfold on our television screens. The bodyguard slides the limousine into a space adjacent to the apartment building, and a screaming horde of Phreaks crowd around the vehicle. As the edgy Feebs and beaming Chronic push their way through the throng, Phoebe shouts, "I don't think any of this is real! I think there's something wrong!" Chronic, basking in the glory of owning as valuable a media property as the woman on his arm, shrugs off her concerns, even when a skinhead breaks through the crowd to bellow, "My wife left me because of you!" Chronic hustles Phoebe along, but she stops him to insist, "This isn't my world -- this isn't even my fantasy! I know this isn't going to make any sense to you, but I think we're in some kind of alternate reality." As Chronic busts her chops for "talking crazy," the bodyguard spots a revolver poking up above crowd's collective head. He shouts, "Gun!" and the throng instantly parts as the divorced lunatic skinhead attached to the revolver yells, "It's time for you to feel pain!" Heh. Even in Chronic's alternate reality, people want Phoebe dead. Chronic dives to cover the Feebs, and the two slam towards the asphalt just as the pistol goes off. The skinhead scampers off as Chronic, bug-eyed, grunts, "Better get you inside." Phoebe withdraws her hand from his jacket to find blood trickling down her fingers. Hooray! But he should have shot Chronic in the face.