Episode Report Card Demian: C+ | 186 USERS: C+ YOU GRADE IT Welcome To Fantathy Thithtern!
By Demian | Season 6 | Episode 6 | Aired on 2003.10.26
Outside the cable access studio, Phoebe waxes enthusiastic about her just-completed taping as she and Chronic amble down the walk to his car. A muscle-bound enforcer trails a few paces behind them until Chronic sends him on ahead to fetch the limousine. "Who was that?" Phoebe asks, finally focusing on something other than herself for a moment. "Your bodyguard," Chronic smiles. "Guh!" Phoebe exclaims. "I thought he was a grip!" They greet a line of Phoebe's freakish fans, who squeal and shriek behind a row of police sawhorses. The yammering about Phoebe's Phabulousness is endless, but one brief moment of note does occur. When a gentleman insists that Phoebe's column saved his marriage, she shoots him a look that indicates even she can't believe that level of bullshit. After Phoebe signs a few autographs, Chronic takes her arm to lead her away, noting, "It's like walking with Gandhi." Sure, Chronic. If Gandhi had been a boneheaded fame-whore with mounds of saline in his chest. Though I can't rightfully bust on Phoebe's appearance in this scene and those that follow. She's wearing a professional-looking, sleekly tailored black dress suit over a deep-pink blouse with strappy stiletto pumps, and she looks fantastic. Better than she has in years, in fact. Still, though -- shame about the hair, honey. In any event, Chronic guides her over to the waiting limousine, which is white, as in, "Only white trash like Chronic would buy one of those tacky things." Once they're safely ensconced in the back seat, Phoebe hesitantly gives voice to her increasing sense of unease. "I appreciate what you're trying to do for me," she tells him, "but a lot of this doesn't make sense. Like, I swear those people weren't there a few hours ago, and that elaborate stage?" "Hey!" Chronic interrupts. "You promised." "I know," she sighs before quoting him. "'Just sit back and enjoy the ride.'" To her credit, she still clearly realizes that something is desperately wrong. The limousine glides past the throng of admirers, and there's a moment that's obviously aiming for the creepy, but ends up nailing the hysterical right between the eyes. Phoebe gifts the crowd with little princess waves through the limo's back window, spotting in the process a scruffy twentysomething holding a sign that reads, "MARRY ME PHOEBE." As Phoebe smiles despite herself, the scruff flips the sign around to reveal the "OR DIE" scrawled on the back. HA! Stalkers are funny.