Episode Report Card Heathen: B- | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Escape From L.A.
By Heathen | Season 3 | Episode 6 | Aired on 12.01.2003
Charlie sprints through town, takes a couple turns, and…wait, didn't Spawn say it was one block? This is a long block. Spawn probably doesn't know how to read a map. At any rate, Charlie reaches the alley and sees a manhole-type thing that's been opened. He calls Bitchelle and tells her that Kiefer is in the 900 block of Mission, so she should seal off a ten-block radius and redeploy everyone. "I'm on it," Bitchelle of course says.
Meanwhile, Kiefer and Felipe Hartmano have gotten to a valet car park that doesn't have an attendant. Kiefer rifles through the keys until he finds something made by the show's sponsor, and promptly unlocks a shiny blue Ford sports car. At 06:37:20, he revs up the KieferKrotchRocket and zooms out of the parking lot.
At 06:14:44, a newscast suggests that the public and the Ruby Keeler campaign think Palmer's abrupt exit from the debate is suspiciously odd. Palmer pouts. Brother Palmer hangs up his phone and shares that CTU hasn't located Kiefer or Hartmano, but the LAPD is trying to seal off the area. "It's probably more likely that he slipped through," Palmer says, a tinge of hope in his tone because he wants Kief to live and love him another day. "David, stop thinking about his welfare for a moment. Kiefer breaking Hartmano out of prison has reached the press," BroPalm snaps. "You have to go out there and explain to them that's why you ended the debate, and then denounce what Kiefer did." Palmer stiffens; he resents that Kiefer put his life on the line and they're responding by screwing him, and not in the sexy way he likes. BroPalm stresses that they need to cover up the fact that Palmer knew what Kiefer was going to do. "I'm sorry, but you're going to have to let him go," BroPalm says. Palmer looks heartbroken.
KieferKrotchRocket. Kiefer kalls the pilot of the Hartmano jet, explaining that these were the contact instructions CTU had. He tells the pilot, Capitano Cocaine, that he's on a secure cell, and gives him a number so he can reconfigure his frequency, or some other hoo-ha to keep things private, and call Kiefer back. Crystal Gael is listening in, and confirms to El Capitano that it's the real deal, and Kiefer does have Hartmano. Gael protects the call from CTU, and Kiefer's phone rings. They arrange to meet at the Santa Margarita airstrip. "I can be there in ten minutes," Kiefer says, hanging up. Hartmano cackles at him. "You really are the best, Kiefer," he chortles. As Kiefer tries not to listen, Hartmano says that even the whole time he was undercover, no one had a clue he might be an agent. "We accepted you. You didn't have to put the needle in your arm -- you did that for other reasons," Hartmano says. Kiefer sweats a bit. "Same reason as all junkies: to kill the pain. What's your pain, Kiefer?" Hartmano presses. "What does the needle make go away?" Kiefer twitches and stares straight ahead, unwilling to answer this for fear that he'll open his mouth and "Spawn, my homoerotic relationship with Palmer, and my martyr complex" will be what comes out of it.