Episode Report Card Demian: F | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT This/Sucks
By Demian | Season 7 | Episode 16 | Aired on 04.09.2005
"Since when do you quote Shakespeare?" Piper pisses as she powers past Cole into the front parlor. He snarks something unintelligible in return before she demands, "What are you, exactly? Ghost? Demon? Poltergeist? Nightmare?" "None of the above," he lobs back, with a friendly enough smile on his face. "We're caught in a cosmic void," he explains as he advances upon her, "between life and death." Oh, GOD. Whatever. Yet another suddenly appearing and never-to-be-seen-again parallel plane of existence. Shut up, Cole. The two acidly banter back and forth, and it's moderately entertaining mainly because of the chemistry between the two actors, and there's a nice little bit where Piper storms away from him only to have him silently and swiftly reappear in front of her on another part of the floor, but it's all so ultimately pointless, because Cole reveals that he's there merely to ensure Piper does not give up on That Foul, Fiendish Four-Letter Word, and I am never going to make it through this dreary, dreadful, tedious, boring episode alive, am I?
Middle Of Nowhere, Texas: Diner Division. The Dolt scarfs down some blueberry pie, like, you might want to watch your caloric intake, there, porky, as Crazy Chloe Lewis arrives from the early seasons of ER in the guise of the diner's primary waitress to offer some homespun, cornpone words of wisdom to the amnesiac. Joy. When the Dolt wipes at his mouth with a paper napkin, Crazy Chloe spots the ring of white skin on the Dolt's finger where his wedding band used to be. They puzzle over this for a bit before the Dolt flashes back to the bathroom proposal from the third-season premiere, and here's a continuity error for you: They've inserted a shot of Brian Krause's hands sliding what I'm thinking is Holly Marie Combs's real-life engagement ring onto her finger, and that never happened in the original episode, partly because Holly Marie Combs didn't have that massive rock at the time, but mainly because Piper, as you'll recall, stormed from the room, outraged that the stupid Dolt would be so insensitive as to propose to her in the can, for Christ's sake. Crazy Chloe makes some inappropriate and annoying remarks to the effect that the amnesiac's condition is likely the result of his now ex-wife's learning of an affair and braining him with some "cast iron." Rude! The Dolt, of course, strenuously denies this before swiveling on his stool to gaze at some teenagers canoodling in a booth and OW with the skillets and the bowling balls and the anvils and the soap-opera couple making out on the TV screen above the diner's counter and I GET IT, but still: BORING!