Episode Report Card Demian: F | 1 USERS: A+ YOU GRADE IT Jesus Is Just Alright With Me
By Demian | Season 7 | Episode 20 | Aired on 05.07.2005
Over on a supposedly tony Bay Area residential block that is actually a series of fronts on the Paramount backlot because San Francisco does not have row homes, a nanny wheels a stroller-bound rugrat past the façade of the "Robin Brook Preschool." Inside, the Dolt bumbles through the halls until he stumbles across the Psycho's assigned wrangler, a certain "Miss Henderson" whose first name I'm guessing is "Lucy," because that's the name of the character this actress played the last time she appeared on this show five years ago. And...I totally don't care about the Dolt's parenting issues, so we'll be skipping ahead to the bit of this scene that's relevant to tonight's main plot: The Dolt and Miss Lucy enter one of the classrooms to find the Psycho babbling and baring his pointy little Satan teeth at the wall, all the while fingering that teddy bear he's supposed to hate. When the camera shoots across the room for a low-angle shot on the brat, however, we realize that the Psycho's actually engaged in a friendly little confab with a black-clad, leather-jacketed demonic sort who looks like a younger, slightly more attractive version of Tim Roth. "I really like our conversations, [you dead-eyed freak]," the demon enthuses in a tone that indicates he's dealt with children many times before and is quite good at it, "but you know I'm a secret, right? Nobody else can see me." The demon shoots the Dolt a withering glare as the latter announces his intention to return with the supposedly ailing Psycho to the Manor, but quickly refocuses his solicitous attention on the kid. "Now, we won't be able to talk much longer," the demon apologetically admits, "but don't worry -- I'll be back. I promise." As the Dolt, oblivious to the demon's presence, scoops the Psycho up into his arms, the demon brightly continues, "See you soon, [you creepy-ass sociopath]! I wanna hear more about that special teddy bear [you supposedly can't stand to touch]." The Psycho never breaks eye contact with his demonic pal as his father totes him out of the room into the hallway beyond. The demon -- standing, amusingly enough, in front of a poster featuring sixteen Capital-E "Emotions" of which the Psycho has displayed in his entire life exactly zero -- dematerializes in much the same way Kappa Kappa Klea did all those many episodes ago: Most of his body squiggles into transparency, but his eyes and grin hover in the air for a moment before twinkling and vanishing as well. The screen flashes, and we're...
...down in Hell, where "Vicus" rematerializes eyes-first to be greeted by his diminutive Ethan Hawke-alike underling, Hugo. (The Hawke-alike, by the way, is actually Billy Kay, who appeared in the deeply disturbing L.I.E. four years ago, and this episode's resulting indirect association with that movie makes Vicus's knack for communicating with the kiddies far more troubling than the script deserves, if you know what I mean.) The upshot of the subsequent exchange is this: Vicus, by "nurturing the evil" within various unspecified magical beings when those beings were young, has managed to form a "collective" of these creatures over the years, of which wee Hugo here is a part. Vicus, aware that the Psycho "will grow to become one of the most powerful witches ever to walk the earth," believes it's in the Collective's best interest to have so powerful an entity allied with it, rather than standing against it in opposition. Hugo's none too eager to battle the Charmed Ones over the Psycho's purported soul, but his master leaves him little choice in the matter. Given far less emphasis in the episode as aired, as opposed to the prominence it seemed to have in the shooting script, is the tiny little fact that the Collective's unspecified magical beings are actually human witches gone wrong because of Vicus's intervention, which probably would have added an intriguing spin to the evening's events had it been pushed to the forefront. It would have also, however, endowed Hugo and his compatriots with a certain moral ambiguity that this show finds anathema, and so of course had to be deleted save for one glancing reference in a later scene, because we can't have the kiddies sympathizing and siding with the supposed bad guys when Piper blows them up. And now you know why I appended that "maybe" onto my earlier Waste Land reference: If these are human forces of evil, where, exactly, do they go after they've been vanquished? It's an interesting question that's never answered.