Episode Report Card Demian: F | 1 USERS: A+ YOU GRADE IT Jesus Is Just Alright With Me
By Demian | Season 7 | Episode 20 | Aired on 05.07.2005
ANY-way, the Psycho passes stupid fucking Crusty Ted to the Dolt, thereby breaking the stupid fucking curse. Mangy Jesus morphs back into Boring Jesus, who, as one would expect, has no memory of recent events but is still verklempt from the Dolt's endless fucking babbling, so they hug. Ew. EW.
The brief closing travelogue drags us through the nighttime city into the following morning. It also drags us into a scene I'll not be recapping, as it involves the woman who was once The Most Excellent Professor Ever To Appear On American Television apologizing for "prejudging" Phoebe "as a fraud" and then slavishly kissing Phoebe's bony derriere over some paper on imaginary friends that Phoebe apparently crapped out during the closing travelogue and that this professor apparently read and graded in the few seconds before this scene began. CANCEL THIS FUCKING SHOW NOW.
Oh.
Ooops.
Shit.
Manor. Out on the sun porch, Pippihontas impatiently paces the floor, waiting for Raige to return from another New Zealand jaunt so they might as a family send Boring Jesus back to the future. Yeah. "As a family," with the exception of Tiny Gay Chris, who is nowhere to be seen, presumably because he actually did starve to death and is now rotting away in a shallow grave next to irritating Jenny Gordon in the backyard. Raige eventually arrives, and there follows a lengthy farewell scene that was far more effective and touching when it centered around the other son. Boring Jesus does confirm, however, that Phoebe has a child. "In the future that extends forward from this precise moment in time, assuming absolutely nothing changes to alter said future," he shamefully neglects to add. So, there's still a tiny bit of hope for those of us utterly horrified over the fact that Phoebe might actually reproduce someday. Boring Jesus saves his last and longest goodbye for his mom, and then steps away from his family so Piper can recite the following from the slip of paper she holds in her hand:
Son in the future, son in the past,
Seeing anew what once had passed:
Return him now from whence he came --
Right when he left, all now the same.