Episode Report Card Demian: B | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Many Happy Returns
By Demian | Season 5 | Episode 13 | Aired on 02.01.2003
Our Lady Of The Dead Heathers. Hello, Ominous Cross-Bearing Angel Of Reputation-Destroying Quarterback Death! I've missed you so. Inside, Slampiece Glenn quietly discusses ceremony plans with a minister and The Man-Stealing Hussy From Twentynine Palms. "The Man-Stealing Hussy From Twentynine Palms" is the name of my third album. Just so you know. Raige edges into the chapel through one of the side doors to apologize, and sweet holy mother of God! What the hell happened to Glenn's hair? I mean, it was bad before, but now? It looks like he massaged some gel into the dead ferret stapled to his scalp, then twisted and tortured the thing into a giant, spiky faux-hawk. What is wrong with you, dude? Ack. Anyway. Ow. Okay, then. Raige meekly apologizes for being so rude to The Man-Stealing Hussy From Twentynine Palms, and I must say Rose McGowan looks lovely in the soft, golden light they've given her for this scene. Slampiece FauxHawk initially mutters about his disappointment with her behavior before having one of those "Oh. Oh!" moments regarding her intentions. "You thought you and I...?" he asks. "No!" Raige bleats unconvincingly, then tries for an entirely dismissive "Duh!" eye-roll/shoulder-shrug combo that comes across as miserably needy and betrayed. The Man-Stealing Hussy From Twentynine Palms sidles over to cough that the minister's waiting. When Slampiece FauxHawk turns to gaze upon The Hussy, Raige's eyes flare an unearthly, yellowish white. She gasps and clutches her forehead in pain. By the time FauxHawk returns his attention to her, however, she appears to be fine. "Jessica, I wanted to apologize," she begins. "For not being very friendly earlier. I really am sorry." The Man-Stealing Hussy From Twentynine Palms lets down her guard a bit and approaches Raige with a half-smile. "Thanks for saying that," The Hussy offers while linking her arm through FauxHawk's. That's when the acid kicks in. "I just don't understand what [Slampiece FauxHawk's] doing with such a blonde bimbette!" Raige perks. FauxHawk and The Hussy goggle as Raige continues, "And, really, who's the surgeon who did those boobs? I should get the number for a friend of mine." Heh. Any guesses as to the identity of the "friend" to which Raige refers? The Man-Stealing Hussy From Twentynine Palms, outraged, stalks away. Slampiece FauxHawk hisses at Raige for a second before darting off to join his intended. Raige smirks.