Episode Report Card Demian: B | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Many Happy Returns
By Demian | Season 5 | Episode 13 | Aired on 02.01.2003
"Oh, my God!" Piper wails upon reaching the top of the stairs. "What have I done?" You've stumbled onto a green-screen sound stage, darling. Seriously, this effect here? Blows goats. However, they more than make up for it with what follows. At the Dolt's prodding, Piper splutters and stammers and wings the following reversal spell:
Let the Object of Objection return
So that its existence may be reaffirmed.
The shot cuts from a close-up of Piper's face to a low-angle of the three glancing around in apprehension. As the camera pans in a semi-circle around the group, twinkly little fairy lights erupt at ground level and race into the air surrounding them, conjuring the Manor's walls, doors, windows, antiques, fixtures, and ceilings as the light shifts from a dusky blue to a warmer incandescent glow. If this were a movie, the sequence would be scream-inducingly awful. For a weekly TV show, it was pretty damn cool. For this weekly TV show in particular, it was stunning. Piper faces Raige and cocks a suspicious brow. "Is that a wedding dress?" "You just noticed?" Raige deadpans. Heh. I get the feeling they ad-libbed that exchange during rehearsals. Meanwhile, the Rickbaugh Turkey gobbles in the kitchen.
Cut to an extreme low-angle of The Feebs preparing to behead the Rickbaugh Turkey with a meat cleaver. The Dolt manhandles her away from the center island, allowing the bird to flee from the room. "I have to kill Spencer!" Phoebe babbles deliriously from deep within the arms of the Dolt. After a bit of confusion, the others realize what Phoebe's done. Piper orders the Dolt to orb Phoebe to the attic while she and Raige pay Doc Diddy a visit. "Yeah," Phoebe Renfields dizzily in excitement. "Take me to the turkey!" Hee!
The Voodoo-Licious Magic Mojo Lounge And Grill. Head Doc and Doc Diddy hover over the bubbling pot, all rubbing their hands together and murmuring, "Excellent!" "Talk about premature jubilation," Raige snarks from off to the side. As the camera swings her way, she adds, "You gentlemen might want to see a doctor about that." Oh, ew. Raige, I've loved you in this episode, but that line was just beneath you. And vile and disgusting to boot. Piper makes with the threatening Hands Of Discontent, so the witch doctors quickly acquiesce to her demands.
Up in the Manor attic, the Dolt slowly backs away from the crazed and murderous cleaver-wielding Feebs, like, hey, Dolt! You're dead! Just take the fucking cleaver out of her hand! Asshole. Moron. Simp. Asshole-simp-moron. Of course, it doesn't matter, because Phoebe's eyes suddenly glow an unearthly yellowish-white as she snaps out of her zealous rage. Alyssa Milano pulls an amusing double-take when Phoebe notices the cleaver in her hand, by the way. With a deep sense of dismay, Phoebe instantly understands the effects of her actions on blah blah blah blah blah. The Rickbaugh Turkey gobbles its way downstairs.