Episode Report Card Couch Baron: B+ | 1 USERS: B+ YOU GRADE IT "You Fart Helium?"
By Couch Baron | Season 1 | Episode 1 | Aired on 03.18.1999
The Moya floats through space. Officer Kickass, who I won't pretend any longer that I don't know is Aeryn Sun, gets frustrated with Crichton's slackjawed gaping. She'll be in good company around here. She calls Rygel a "Hynerian slug," and demands to be let out, but he tells her no dice, and also calls her a Peacekeeper. Da dunt da dat da dun! That's my best approximation of the theme music to which I referred earlier. Crichton realizes that Sun was attacking the ship, and that the prisoners think he's one of them. Sun imperiously introduces herself, and demands again that Crichton identify himself. He testily tells her his rank is Commander, not that that necessarily means anything. I mean, I'm Captain of my living room, but I don't expect that carries much weight halfway across the galaxy. He goes on that he's not military, but a scientist. Sun looks skeptical. I think I like her. Meanwhile, Rygel has succeeded in locating the former prisoners' possessions. D'Argo and Zhann show up, and D'Argo goes over to get his "blade," while Zhann contents herself with taunting Sun that she should be used to seeing the likes of them through bars. I'm used to seeing the likes of them through bars too, but only in the West Village at very odd hours. Crichton tells Zhann he's not a Peacekeeper, and she tells him they realize that now, as he's got some "decidedly unfamiliar bacteria" living within him. He tries to explain further, but she cuts him off, telling him that it's time to eat. The cell door opens, and Crichton, hilariously warily, is like, "Eat what?" Mmm, tasty unfamiliar bacteria! D'Argo just gives him an "oh, stop it" smile and head-tilt. If that was meant to be reassuring, it went about as far wide of the mark as Crichton's experiment.
Over at the Fleet of Eevil, Blonde Underling tells Crais they've got the image of the pilot. When they see Crichton, Blonde Underling is like, "He's Sebacean!" Yes, he is. By the way, I'm really looking forward to the end of summer, as it's been in the nineties for weeks, and that's way too Sebacean for my tastes. Crais informs Blonde Underling that they'll be leaving the armada and going after the Leviathan.
Crichton is whining about the bindings on his wrists. Zhann easily tells him that they still don't know his loyalties. He babbles about alien contact and movies and the Milky Way, and then realizes that she doesn't know what he's talking about. I'm thinking Zhann's priestly background has infused her with a good deal of patience. Not so Sun, who looks like she's so over this place she couldn't see it if it were the size of the Great Wall of China. Crichton asks about the ship, and Zhann tells him that "she" is a Leviathan, "a bio-mechanoid, a living ship." Which is cool, but can also be a problem...