Episode Report Card Couch Baron: B+ | 1 USERS: B+ YOU GRADE IT "You Fart Helium?"
By Couch Baron | Season 1 | Episode 1 | Aired on 03.18.1999
The frag cannon moves into position threateningly, or as threateningly as something that looks like a jazzed-up hubcap can look. Zhann takes an interest in what Crichton is writing, and he tells her it's a theory of atmospheric friction. Rygel asks if he's insane, but is ignored. Time to sneeze on him again, Rygel. Interspersed throughout this scene are cuts of the cannon and the enemy ship, so just take my word for it that the other ship continues to close, yet doesn't fire, apparently waiting for Crichton to finish his calculations. That seems like a good way to achieve a head-on collision. Crichton tells his crowd they're going to need to hit a very precise trajectory, and when Pilot whines about that, tells Sun she's going to have to pilot the ship manually. That doesn't make much sense, but we can't let little things like sense get in the way when there are less than ten minutes left in the episode and this ragtag, unlikely bunch has yet to learn a Very Special Lesson about Working Together. Sun tells Crichton she won't fly. Don't ask her!
Crais instructs "Weapons Control" to give him a full charge, like, nice to have waited this long to give that order. Maybe he got delayed stepping on some kittens or something. D'Argo yanks Sun over to the flight controls as he orders Pilot to give him maneuverability. Pilot babbles an objection, and everyone screams, "DO IT!" Hee. Even Zhann has her limits. Sun takes the controls as Crais's ship fires several shots, one of which finds its mark but doesn't seem to do much damage. Crais's bridge crew is then horrified to see that Sun has turned the Leviathan around and is heading toward them. It passes close by, and Crais takes the controls of his ship himself. On Moya, Crichton instructs his people to let the planet's gravity pull them in. Well, I'm no scientist, but I think THAT'S HOW GRAVITY WORKS, GENIUS. He goes on that they need to dive straight into the atmosphere, and everyone starts to look ill as Crichton calls for more speed to slingshot them out of there. Hey, isn't this the way they traveled through time on the Star Trek serieses? I hope that doesn't happen here, though, because as far away from Earth as they are, there's a good chance they'd run into the Borg. Of course, the Borg would probably take one look at this crew and say, "Assimilate what?" They're into technology, not looks. The Leviathan hurtles through the atmosphere, and then Crichton tells Sun, "Pull out! Pull out now!" That certainly evoked a more interesting visual image than I was bargaining for. Sun pulls Moya out of the atmosphere, and they hurtle away, although it doesn't seem like they're going any faster than they were before. Crais observes this with his best "curses, foiled again" expression as we head into the last break.