Episode Report Card Demian: F | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Zodiac Killers
By Demian | Season 8 | Episode 14 | Aired on 02.11.2006
The Stupid Garden. Piper enters to discover that Doberman's elevated Lo Pan to the Zodiac, where he will take the place of the recently vanquished Kentucky Fried Chicken, and...yeah. The stupid Signs should have done this forty-five minutes ago, thereby skirting all of the wacky Wiccan hijinks that followed KFC's untimely demise, but they're idiots, so whatever. General Tso (dammit! I tried) ambles over to retrieve Buddha's Mystical Trouser Snake from Piper, and also to offer her a little pep talk, in which she learns that her Lesson Of The Week is "patience can be rewarded." You know, with regards to that whole Doltsicle thing. Yawn. General Tso crosses back over to begin the New Year's ceremony as Piper looks both chastened and thoughtful before we cross-fade into...
...the Closing Travelogue, which spins us around the nighttime city for a bit before landing us back atop the Golden Gate Bridge, where Raige orbs in with Darling Hank to resolve their Non-Issue Of The Week, which Darling Hank accomplishes by basically caving in to her. No, seriously. Something about him now seeing "the bigger picture" and all that crap. They share a little romantic moment in which they profess their love for one another -- which, considering rapidly approaching events, you'd think they'd have gotten out of the way a long time ago -- before the camera spins down from the top of the bridge and into...
...Hell. The Retarded Bimbo, having ssssuccessssssssfully sssscryed for her ssssisssster, unlockssss the door, enterssss the sssshadowy ssssell, and hissssssssesssss, "Chrissssssssty?" The camera goes all wavery for a second before the final blackout barges in to punch her in her maggoty neck.
Next week, some ferrety tool arrives on the scene to screw with Raige's love life. No, it's not Chrissssty, but she does finally makes an appearance as well. Joy.