Untitled

Episode Report Card Jacob Clifton: A+ | 95 USERS: A YOU GRADE IT Neither Tarnished, Nor Afraid

By Jacob Clifton | Season 4 | Episode 19 | Aired on 02.11.2014

WHO RUN THE WORLD

Spencer is reading a Diary story right now called "The Mermaid," all draped on a cassock (or that red club chair/divan thing I love so much, maybe, cleverly hidden) in the middle of absolute darkness, like Alison's anachronistic phone booth that time. The piano music in this part is particularly moving. Oh, and get this:

"Look at my mermaid. If she knew how much power she had she could have whatever she wants. But she's afraid. I think about what she'd be like if she was as tough as she was beautiful. You can be anything you want to be in this world, but one thing you can never be is weak…"

THE BREW

Up behind her on the Dogville stage is the Brew again, this time set for a dinner scene, so Spencer -- the internal auteur of this externally auteur fantasy -- can watch it go down in real-time.

Emily: "So then I was like, 'Yeah, I guess lesbians don't exist.' Fooled 'em again."
Paige: "Why are you giving me the third degree about Shana? I already said sorry."
Emily: "I don't care, we were on a break. This isn't about Shana. I mean, not in that way."
Paige: "I thought about you when I was with her... I can't believe I just said that! That's what a boy says when he cheats, I feel almost normal."
Emily: "Then act like it, bitch."

Emily takes Paige's hand and I think we were all kind of wishing (them included) that Spencer's fucked-up Matrix brain would put Paige in that Prince Charming outfit from the Black Swan dance. C'mon, just... nope? Fine. The bartender notices them touching hands and continues wiping that Nighthawk counter down like it's the taint on their souls. He makes it totally weird.

Emily: "Don't go, you always go first. If you're that paranoid, maybe people will notice that and put it all together. Those lesbians, they'll say. Leaving in a certain order every time. How gay."
Paige: "I gotta go first, Emily. I gotta go so I don't have to see ya walk away from me."
Emily: "Are we breaking up in the real world? What is the point of this scene? Why is Spencer in her kitchen fantasizing about us being oppressed by archaic social norms?"
Paige: "I said I gotta go! I gotta scram."

Truth be told, though, Emily does break up with Paige a shit-ton, so I guess Dream Paige has a point. You either die a hero or you live long enough for a car to drive through Emily's house, or Jenna to get drowned in a pond, or Lucas to get drowned in a lake, and then before you know it, it's Splitsville, kid. Later they will they have sex and it will be amazing. (Spoiler alert.)

Previous 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20Next