Episode Report Card Jacob Clifton: A+ | 95 USERS: A YOU GRADE IT Neither Tarnished, Nor Afraid
By Jacob Clifton | Season 4 | Episode 19 | Aired on 02.11.2014
Hanna: "Mabel, I'm just trying to track down one crummy phone number. How many favors have I done for you? Remember those three sailors?"
She gets the number, and then connects a few more calls, and the whole time she's rolling her eyes and cracking her gum and it's so, so perfect. The subtle line between homage and unintentional parody they're walking, you never see how well the show is doing it quite like you do when she's pulling out all the stops like this. It's not a joke about old movies, like a sitcom would do or like Mathnet or whatever: It's an old movie about old movies, a totally different thing, and the fact that we're nearly done and it just became clear how tough this would have been to get right. That's the most impressive part of all.
FIELDS
Paige: "That's exactly why I wore this doily dickey on my prairie dress and my hair in these weird balls on my head and this giant chunky necklace: to seduce you."
Emily: "It's a testament to us both how well it's working."
Paige: "Sigh. So many people in this lonely city full of pedophiles."
Emily: "Don't be lonely! I wore these shoulder pads and this giant belt specifically to romance the lonesome right out of you."
Paige: "I'm not lonely, I'm afraid of being alone when you outgrow climbing trees. Meaning that I can't tell if you're actually gay since it hasn't been invented yet."
Emily: "Please don't subject my femme experience to cultural erasure just because it doesn't fit into the narrow norms of your conventional queer narrative."
Paige: "Oh, I will be doing the exact opposite. Of that."
She does the exact opposite of that, in fact. It's excellent. Curtains in the wind, swooning music, hot kisses, Emily hookin' her finger through Paige's bra strap as she settles back into the pillows. For a time period without any lesbians, I gotta say they are very good at it.
SWITCHBOARD
Hanna! Is on the case! Just crackin' that gum and grinning to herself as she invents social engineering a good seventy years early.
Hanna: "Is this the All-Nite Answering Service?"
TANAS: "Yes it is. The only one."
Hanna: "Listen, my boss is Mr. Fitzgerald himself, and I lost a very important phone number... Do you have any messages from an 'Alison'?"
That Mabel really came through, giving her the number of Rosewood's preeminent (only) all-night answering service, the one called "All-Nite Answering Service."
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