Episode Report Card Jacob Clifton: A+ | 76 USERS: B+ YOU GRADE IT To Any Port or Foreign Shore
By Jacob Clifton | Season 4 | Episode 13 | Aired on 10.22.2013
Or if they were both together! "Chris Hemsworth, could you bench-press me, The Grunwald?" "Probably, but I would be nervous, because of your witchy powers."
Emily: "Screw this Doolittle hat, I'm losing it. I don't even care about my deposit. Now my look is purely about boobs."
Spencer: "Guys, help me open this one creepy grave."
Liars: "Oh my God, why?"
Spencer: "What else are we even doing? Get crackin'."
Guess what, it leads down into a dungeon!
Liars: "I wonder where this path leads..."
Aria, verbatim: "Um, HELL?"
Then of course they are locked in there, having climbed down through a grave into hell, and they have the gall to act surprised by this. Hanna's like, "On second thought, let's call this Halloween Special off. Alison, you're on your own. I want the fuck out of this dumb town." But there is no relief. Further into the catacombs we go.
Aria: "This is a stupid question but can anybody get a signal? Here in this dungeon under a mausoleum in a parallel witch universe?"
Hanna: "In fact I have negative three bars. Never saw that before."
Alabaster virgin goddess statue, bleeding from the eyes? You know it. Leda getting fucked by the Swan on a divan? Probably more than one of those. Windstorm? Why not? Windstorm suddenly so strong they have to hold hands in a chain so they don't get blown away? For sure. And then suddenly it stops.
When the lights come back on, Hanna has turned into a statue! Oh my God, Ravenswood. You need to calm down.
KNIGHT BUS
Caleb: "Sorry I was being so pushy, but I just remember how I forced Uncle Dad to be my Dad, and how eventually he got framed for stealing a bell, and now he lives in the woods. So just be aware that that's something that can happen."
Miranda: "How did that work out?"
Caleb: "If you are imagining that somehow your life will ever be happy, you need to give up hope immediately. I went from no parents to two parents -- one of them rich as hell -- and yet I'm still on this shithole bus, right next to you."
Miranda: "Did your foster parent ever drink a whole bottle of vodka and then throw your laptop in the bathtub?"
Caleb: "Uh, is your foster mother Eminem? What an oddly specific tale of woe. But it's cool that we're both into computers. Ravenswood seems like the kind of place where either the internet doesn't work at all, or you wish that it did not."