Episode Report Card Demian: C- | 0 USERS: N/A YOU GRADE IT We'll have an old-fashioned wedding.
By Demian | Season 4 | Episode 15 | Aired on 2002.03.14
Phoebe gets all up in The D'Ole's face. The D'Ole reveals that "Cole" is "unconscious in the mausoleum." She indicates a low building nearby that is not the Mausoleum mausoleum. It's not even The Late Lamented's mausoleum. The Third-Hardest Working Cemetery In Show Business is larger than I remembered. "Why would you save us one day and try to kill us the next?" Raige snits. "For the same reason -- to keep the balance of power between good and [Eeevil]," The D'Ole replies. Piper claims she's being "cryptic," but that's a pretty reasonable explanation as far as I'm concerned. The D'Ole, however, elaborates. She lies about having had a vision that, should Phoebe marry Cole on that particular day, she would become a witch possessed of such immense power as to tilt the balance towards the forces of good. The D'Ole's sole (oy) purpose was to stop the wedding. Now that she has, she can leave. The D'Ole blazes on out. "Bitch," clenches Piper. Snerk. The Dolt offers to finish burying Coolio's remains while the gals head off to find Cole. The Ps agree and leave him alone by the grave.
Over in the ordinary, garden-variety mausoleum, The D'Ole blazes in, clutches her pearls, and morphs back into The Sole. He rips off his bow tie and drops to the ground just as Phoebe, Piper, and Raige clomp down the stairs. They quickly determine that he's okay. The Sole claims D'Eartha probably wouldn't have killed him anyway. "Killing is beneath her," he states as he's eased to his feet. "She only does it if she has to." The Dolt joins the group, and they head towards the exit.
In an upper hallway, Raige gives voice to her lingering suspicions. "If [D'Eartha] really wanted to stop the wedding," she asks The Sole, "why wouldn't she kill you?" "You'd have to ask her," Cole mildly replies. The Dolt stops them all short when he spots "The Chapel Of The Gardens" off to the side. And, oh! How convenient! There appears to be a priest puttering around the altar! "It's cute," Piper perks. "And perfect," The Sole adds. "For what?" asks the Feebs. "For a wedding," The Sole duhs. Piper couldn't agree more. It takes little prodding for Phoebe to go along with this idea. The five flash their teeth at the camera and scamper into the chapel. The priest turns at their entrance, and to the surprise of absolutely no one at all, it's Prior Pock.