Episode Report Card Demian: D+ | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Baby's First Sucky Episode
By Demian | Season 5 | Episode 16 | Aired on 03.29.2003
Inside Swinezits, the camera tracks behind Raige for a bit before craning up to take in the entire hidden village. I'm still hating the very idea of this goddamned place, but once again, bravo to the production staff.
The screen flashes once more, and we end up back at The Bay Mirror. Long story short, Phoebe once again attempts to bail, but Chronic The Hedgehog detains her in Elise's office for a chat. Phoebe's advice column's become too "baby-centric" as of late, and that's a problem. Chronic none-too-kindly suggests she reevaluate her priorities if she wishes to keep her job. I think we're meant to hate him for this, but all I can do is giggle with glee. It's about time somebody called Phoebe on her shit. Unfortunately, an assistant interrupts the private ass-kicking to inform Phoebe that the Dolt's on the phone again, "and it's the third time he's called." Phoebe shoots a foul look at Chronic, snatches up her things, and leaves. Chronic pouts. Scene.
Manor. Phoebe and the Dolt orb into the main hallway, with Phoebe bitching the entire time about the new boss screening her calls, or something. During the subsequent processing summit, Piper and the Dolt fill Phoebe in on most of the day's events while one of the Non-Asian Done Ones squirms in his bassinet. The moment he begins to cry, Raige's alarm system goes off and continues to wail until Phoebe rushes over to pick him up. Piper and the Dolt, meanwhile, glance about the room, searching for demonic intruders. They don't spot any, but they do wonder what happened to Raige.
Up in the attic, Piper enters with her Precious Log, which magically transforms Itself into The Done One as she eases It into an antique baby carriage. I think the kid's power is shape-shifting, people. The Dolt spots the "scrying tools" lying about as Piper realizes that "the hand grenade potion" is missing. She also finds a note from the missing P that reads simply, "Gone to market -- back soon." The Dolt clenches, Piper fumes, and the clueless Feebs fails to understand the note's implications.
Pigscabs Montage. A beefy enforcer escorts Raige through the demonic throng. A power broker with Vulcan ears flogs Flaming Balls Of Death, while over on a nearby stage, a wimpy git demonstrates his fast-acting super-steroid elixir, morphing from wimp to 'roid rager with one sip. Raige thanks the beefball for the tour. When the beefball gets unnecessarily frisky, she summons an FBOD from a nearby demonette's hand with her orbing telekinesis. The beefball howls and wails and vanishes in a gout of flame. The demonette simply shrugs and conjures up another FBOD as Raige makes her way up to The Albino Twins' apartment.