Episode Report Card Chuck: D+ | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Dog Doo
By Chuck | Season 5 | Episode 4 | Aired on 01.26.2002
Ryan lying in the cage. Slowmar's voice thundering through the common area. McManus walks up to Slowmar and suggests a stroll. Slowmar's worried that he fucked up, but McManus just talks to him about the singing and how no one wants to hear it. Slowmar points out that McManus was the one who made him start, so it's grossly hypocritical of him to complain, which is dead on, but McManus just looks like he laid a silent fart and leads Slowmar to the janitorial closet that will double as Slowmar's very own private practice studio, complete with a metronome and meticulously arranged sheet music. You get one hour each day, says McManus, which inspires Slowmar to call McManus a "humdinger."
Redding, all puffed up with his cafeterial kingdom, wants to take advantage of Slowmar's unique situation with the practice room. He tells Slowmar that he's got an assignment, but Slowmar protests, telling Redding that he can't risk selling drugs right now. Redding doesn't take no for an answer, but he does take off his glasses to show that he's serious. "Here's how it's gonna work," says Redding. He'll give Slowmar the stash, Slowmar will give the stash to Reggie, and Reggie will move the stash to the mysterious Unit C. "If you've got a problem with that," croaks Redding, "then you're gonna have a bigger problem with me." So it's settled. Slowmar pockets the white package -- after holding it aloft for several easily noticeable seconds, but the guards don't see a thing. Redding tells him he better not use, and Slowmar says he actually wants to stay clean.
Practice time. Slowmar sings. Slowmar looks at the package. The metronome ticks. Slowmar sings. The door opens. In walks Reggie. Slowmar asks if Reggie is Reggie; Reggie wonders if Slowmar was expecting Destiny's Child (and I suddenly yearn for Beyonce Knowles in a women's prison movie). Slowmar, as usual, is in a chatty mood, but Reggie just wants the drugs and keeps referring to Slowmar's stupidity as he makes the handoff and leaves. Back in the very public common area, Slowmar shuffles up to Redding and hands him a wad of bills; Redding compliments Slowmar's work, and stuffs a bill in Slowmar's shirt pocket. Then it's back to his pod, where Said meditates with his eyes closed. Slowmar, still oblivious after weeks of living together, starts babbling about his day and trying to engage Said in conversation. The Minister asks Slowmar, very, very slowly, to be quiet, but Slowmar says he's just trying to wind down. Said tells him, very, very slowly, to wind down in silence. Slowmar begins to complain, but Said stands up and yells at Slowmar to leave him in peace, which he does, exiting the pod, shaking hands with Poet, and leaving Said to look exaggeratedly exasperated.
In the library, Said concentrates on a book. Ahmad and Arif approach and ask if he is preparing for tomorrow's lecture, but Said is reading Music Appreciation and Theory. Aww, that's cute. Arif and Ahmad don't think so, however, because they begin to question Said's commitment to leading the Muslims, that "Omar White is becoming too much of a distraction." Said wonders if Arif speaks for himself or others, and asks Ahmad if he feels spiritually adrift because Said attends to Slowmar. Ahmad stutters and searches for an appropriate reply, but he's let off the hook by Robson, who walks up and says, "Huey, Dewey, and Jigabooey are having a little lesson." Ahmad rushes toward Robson, pissed, but Arif places a hand on his chest as Said tells him to step back. An old woman in a pink turtleneck and pastel-hued scarf watches, having evidently made a terribly wrong turn on her way to the Junior League. Said begins to lead the Muslim walk-away, stopping for a brief staring contest with Robson, who cracks, "I hope it was something I said." Robson then explains to his cohort that one sends a message to Serengeti herd leaders by killing the youngest and the weakest; Robson's cohort then demonstrates why he does not have a larger role with a response involving wildlife shows. Robson thinks it's time to send a message.