Episode Report Card Chuck: D+ | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Dog Doo
By Chuck | Season 5 | Episode 4 | Aired on 01.26.2002
In the cage, Ryan calls Kenmin over and tells him to go to McManus and tell him that Li was going to rape Betty Buckley. Kenmin refuses and says that he'll be "laughing [his] balls off" when Cyril gets executed. Judging from Kenmin's hair and voice, I think he already has. Ryan starts jumping around and yelling, because he's really mad.
Redding marches (well, in theory at least) into Leo's office and informs him that he wants control of the cafeteria. When Leo reminds him that the Sicilians control the cafeteria, Redding points out that Pancamo's still in the infirmary and that Schibetta's -- well, Schibetta's not feeling so fresh. Redding is friends with most of the guys in the cafeteria (and most of them are black). Leo recalls Adebesi's troubled tenure, but Redding counters, "I ain't Adebesi." I'll say. Leo sees that this is true, and relents. Redding's mind meld has worked. Moving full steam ahead, Redding asks Leo to get the Sicilians out of the kitchen. Consider it done, my man. Because, as the warden, I'm just here to do your bidding.
Parked in a corner, Hill hallucinates his mother calling his name, and holds his head in psychic pain. Beecher strolls by, asks Hill about the whereabouts of his dog, notices that he's crying, and embarrasses Hill by attempting to engage him in a conversation. Hill tells Beecher that he can't stop thinking of his mother rolling over in the bus, how she hated enclosed spaces and is now trapped in a bargain basement coffin. Beecher, in his infinite wisdom, starts counseling Hill (who interjects with some useless yet appropriate "Fuck yous") to let his imagination run free, to imagine the progression of his mother's decomposition -- the maggots, the rotting flesh, the bones, the dirt. Beecher acts as though he's on a moral mission from Oprah, because he knows everything and has nothing better to do than run around and mess up everyone else's life. I feel sorry for Hill, and placate myself by imagining Beecher with a railroad spike through his head -- what an intrusive asshole. Beecher continues his grief counseling assault by telling Hill that this is what he has to do to let his mother go, to move on to everything that was good about her. I discover that it's extremely difficult to type on a keyboard covered in vomit. Hill finally gets Beecher to go away, but not before he looks all offended that Hill doesn't jump up and hug him for dispensing such incredible advice. Hill expels air loudly and rolls his eyes for a moment before he rolls himself out of the corner and into Poet's pod for some white powder escapism. I hold Beecher personally responsible for what is sure to be Hill's disastrous spiral back down into the hell of addiction. Hill's eyes glaze and his head falls back as the bus rolls over again and again and again.