Episode Report Card Erin: A+ | 1 USERS: A+ YOU GRADE IT Tell Her About It
By Erin | Season 2 | Episode 22 | Aired on 05.03.2003
Will's all, oh, okey-dokey. That's just fine with me. Nope. No problem with that. Oh, by the way, was there a name attached to the DNA file? Yup, says Syd. "A.G. Doren." Or, you know, "Francinator" in Greek or something. The name clangs a big cowbell in Will's gray matter, and he looks off into The Corner of Come On, Dude, Get A Fucking CLUE Already.
Hockey Rink Of Plot Filler. Syd and her hockey-pants-wearing boyfriend are fooling around on the ice. No, not THAT kind of fooling around. Although Vaughn does ask her if she wants to go to Santa Barbara for a little non-CIA-sanctioned nookie. He's all, we're going this weekend. Syd's all, oh, yeah, right, as if we can go. There'll be some fucking emergency…as if on cue, a cell phone bleeps. For some bizarre reason, Syd's keeping both their phones in her pocket. Maybe the baggy-ass hockey pants don't have pockets.
It's Vaughn's cell, and he answers it. It's Agent McPlotDevice. Erm, I mean, "Agent Sean." For reasons that remain to be seen, Vaughn has to go into the office. Syd decides to stick around and propel the plot further -- erm, I mean, "practice playing hockey" -- so Vaughn lays a hot, wet one on her and skates off. Syd doesn't get much practice in, however, because her mother shows up about one second later.
Okay, I know I've said it before, and I'm sure I'll say it again, but could Lena Olin BE any hotter? She's wearing these skintight black jeans, a short red top, and a short black leather jacket. She looks all of a hundred pounds, but an incredibly shapely hundred pounds and...just...well...
Wendy Kroy: Are you SURE you're not batting for the pink team? Regina: I'm sure. Rona: But you're thinking about it, aren't you? Regina: For Lena Olin? You bet your sweet rollerblading ASS I'm thinking about it. Wendy Kroy: You know...she's pretty powerful. I think she could even turn me straight for a night. Rona: Wow. Regina: Yeah. Just. Wow. Wendy Kroy: I know.
Syd skates over to her mother, brandishing her hockey stick in a vaguely threatening manner. Irina brings up the deal she struck (or tried to strike) with Syd back in Marseilles. The one about Will's innocence in exchange for a favor. "266 Kroner Strasse," says Irina. "I've just given you the address of Sloane's warehouse, where he's hiding the Rambaldi artifacts." Syd's all, yeah, fine. Got the address. That's not why you're here, is it? Irina's all, as a matter of fact, it is. Sorry. No ulterior motive this time. But don't I look hot in these jeans? Syd's put up with enough for one day, however, and she lunges at Irina with the hockey stick. Irina quickly flattens her on the ice and commands her to stop being stubborn and listen up. Syd does so. She has no choice. She hit her head on the ice and she's seeing stars, along with several flashbacks to the beginning of Irina's reappearance in her life.
We go back to "Trust Me" when Syd meets with her mom. Irina voice-overs that she needed to get Syd to trust her, but she couldn't reveal her whole plan. "Sloane had twenty-three Rambaldi artifacts, the CIA had twenty-four." Back on the ice, Irina says, "In order to assemble the device, they all had to be brought together. Those are the pieces in Sloane's warehouse." Get it? Twenty-three plus twenty-four equals...FORTY-SEVEN! Yay! Syd's all, you stole Rambaldi shit from the government? Irina's all, what, are you surprised? I am a murdering bitch, you know.
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