Episode Report Card M. Giant: B+ | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Unhappy Campers
By M. Giant | Season 4 | Episode 17 | Aired on 04.10.2005
Kiefer's other call is from Soul Patch, who says he's got a guy on the line who seems to have found the Football. Wow, the police sure found "the right people" quickly. Kiefer tells Soul Patch to put Camper Guy through, and to stay on the line. He switches his phone over to the call from Camper Guy. They exchange introductions and quickly get down to business. Kiefer asks Camper Guy to describe the case. He obliges: "It's a black, leather briefcase. It's got numbered paneling over by the handle. It's in a protective case that has the Presidential Seal on it." Kiefer says that sounds like the Football, all right, and he's in a helicopter on his way there now, twenty minutes away (although the closed captioning says thirty). "I just want you to hang out there and wait for me." Camper Guy says that he thinks someone beat Kiefer to the punch, going by the headlights he now sees on the horizon.
Kiefer tells Camper Guy to hold on, and asks Soul Patch if there are any ground units in that area. Soul Patch says there's no one, since all state agencies are still working on the evacuation. Uh-oh. This can't be good. Kiefer asks Camper Guy if the headlights are headed in his direction, and Camper Guy says they are. "This situation just got a lot more complicated than we thought," Kiefer understates. He explains about the Football's transponder and how it allows anyone to track it as long as they have the right frequency. Camper Guy is right there with him: "You think someone got a hold of the frequency who's not supposed to have it." Kiefer says that's a safe assumption, and that that "someone" is probably "the terrorists who carried out today's attacks." Camper Guy seems to know what Kiefer's talking about, despite being out in the middle of nowhere. Kiefer wants Camper Guy to remove the transponder, take the Football, and make a run for it. Camper Guy, starting to get nervous now, gets ready to follow Kiefer's instructions. Kiefer says the transponder is tiny and designed to not be found. Camper Guy is going to need a flashlight and a compass. Fortunately, they have both items with them and don't have to run all the way back to their campsite. Kiefer tells Camper Guy to move the compass slowly over the surface of the case, and the transponder's weak electromagnetic field should be enough to move the needle. Camper Guy hands his wife his flashlight, and she illuminates the compass while he slowly slides it along the case. It's really nerve-wracking, because those headlights are getting closer and he's got no choice but to take his time. After what seems like a couple of long minutes, he finds the transponder. Kiefer tells him to scrape that area with a knife or sharp rock. He does so, probably hoping that he doesn't end up getting in trouble for damaging government property. Those headlights are getting very close indeed. Kiefer tells Camper Guy to put the compass back over the area where he scraped. The needle doesn't move now. "All right, you've disabled it. Good work," Kiefer says. Shouldn't Kiefer have been able to tell that when the transponder's signal disappeared from his screen? In any case, Kiefer asks how far away the approaching vehicle is. "Not far," says Camper Guy. Kiefer tells them to take the Football and start moving in any direction. They do. Hey, you know what would come in handy for them right now? A car. But apparently they hiked into the middle of the Mojave desert, because they're hoofing it now. Kiefer switches back over to Soul Patch and tells him to have satellite surveillance of the whole area put on Kiefer's screen. Like that'll help. We've already seen that ImhoTerror is invisible to satellites.
It's 11:25:12 as a pair of Jeeps with roof light racks come to a stop on the desert trail. A guy gets out of one of them, holding a handheld electronic device with a little screen on it. He approaches ImhoTerror, who's in the shotgun seat of the other Jeep and wanting to know why they've stopped. I want to know how they got enough of a head start to arrive faster than Kiefer's helicopter, but my questions tend to not get answered on this show. The guy with the GameBoy says they've lost the signal, guessing that the transponder was damaged on impact. "And it just happens to malfunction now that we're getting closer?" ImhoTerror asks slowly. Aw, he's starting to get sleepy. Go ahead and take a nap, big guy. Instead, he tells GameBoy Guy to start scanning the area for cell phones. That must be a pretty nice GameBoy.