Episode Report Card M. Giant: B+ | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Unhappy Campers
By M. Giant | Season 4 | Episode 17 | Aired on 04.10.2005
Inside the White House, Poor Man's Hume Cronyn answers a ringing cordless phone and hands it to the Veep. It's of course Buchanan, telling the Veep that Keeler's alive. The Veep lets out such a dorky giggle of relief that it couldn't be anything but sincere. The bad news, as Buchanan reports it: "He's in critical condition, he's lost a lot of blood, there's no chance he's going to be able to lead this country. Certainly not for a few days and probably much longer." The Veep looks thunderstruck. Buchanan recommends that the Veep invoke the 25th Amendment and take control as soon as possible. "I understand," the Veep manages, and hangs up. He turns to face PMHC, who's standing behind him with an appraising look on his face. The Veep gives PMHC the news, saying, "We should, uh, we should probably contact the Cabinet members." PMHC says he's already got that covered. "You did that without my permission?" the Veep snaps ineffectually. This "display" of "temper" intimidates PMHC about as much as I'd be intimidated by an angry Jell-O mold, as he says that the Veep had enough to worry about. The Veep lets it go, naturally. PMHC asks if he should start collecting votes. Without looking at him, the Veep tells him to go ahead. PHMC leaves him standing under the portrait of Lincoln, suffering grievously by comparison.
Out in the desert, our self-appointed NTSB investigators are still, respectively, rummaging around and trying to get a signal on their cell phone. It's 11:19:47. Camper Guy comes across a metal case with the lid emblazoned with the Presidential Seal. The lid is slightly ajar, and not twenty yards away like it should be. Camper Guy moves the lid aside to reveal a briefcase ensconced in foam rubber. I'm disappointed to see that the outer case does not also contain a deeply freaked-out Secret Service agent handcuffed to the briefcase. Meanwhile, Camper Chick finally has a cell phone signal. Fortunately for them, their connection problems are over for the rest of the episode. Camper Guy calls her over to see his newest discovery. He's pretty much already figured out what it is, having once read an article about the Football. "It goes everywhere the President goes," he says. "He can launch an attack from it." I think Tony Blair also has one, but his is round. "We gotta call someone," he says. They decide to start with the police, on the theory that "they'll put us through to the right people." I'm sure that'll only take a couple of hours.
One of those people is already in the air over non-blacked-out L.A., watching a digital readout showing the location of the Football's transponder. I'm speaking, of course, of Kiefer. Since he doesn't have anything else going on right now, he gives DoDder a call. Kiefer wants to clarify what he was saying earlier: "I care. I care about you. I care about what happened to Grayadder. I feel completely responsible for it. But right now this country is under attack and I've got a job to do and I don't have a choice." DoDder says she knows what Kiefer's doing is important. Well, she should; she's the one who told him it was. Kiefer says he just didn't want to leave it like that. He's got another call coming in, and tells her to hold on. DoDder demonstrates that she's paying attention; she says he should take the call and "stay focused on what you have to do." Good for her. Kiefer agrees, and just like that, all the boring relationship stuff is out of the way barely twenty minutes into the episode. I approve. If we could get it wrapped up by the end of the previouslies next week, that would be even better.