Episode Report Card M. Giant: B+ | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Unhappy Campers
By M. Giant | Season 4 | Episode 17 | Aired on 04.10.2005
Kiefer's in the "lower level" when his cell phone rings. If there's ever a time to put your phone on vibrate, I'd think this would be it. Camper Chick tells Kiefer, in a not-at-all-quiet voice, that the bad guys have her husband and they're on the second floor. Good thing her husband's screaming is preventing her from giving herself away. Kiefer tries to get her to stay on the phone, but she tearfully says she can't. She hangs up, and Kiefer's moving again. ImhoTerror's torture of Camper Guy continues, until Camper Chick presents herself at the end of the hallway and tells them to stop: "I have what you want." ImhoTerror demands it, but she wants him to let Camper Guy go first. Instead, ImhoTerror smirks and holds his gun up to Camper Guy's forehead. Camper Chick screams. Wherever Kiefer is, he hears it and starts moving faster. Camper Chick cracks and says, "I'll give it to you if you promise not to kill us." ImhoTerror drops the smirk. "I won't kill you," he says. "I promise." He sounds sincere enough that Camper Chick tells him it's behind the pillar from behind which she just appeared. GameBoy Guy hurries over to grab it. The fourth bad guy has shown up at some point as well. It's 11:48:46 as GameBoy Guy reports that the case is locked. Camper Chick gives ImhoTerror the code. At first I thought that maybe the code automatically changes every time the case is opened and the Campers would be seriously screwed, but GameBoy Guy is able to open the case easily. Lucky Campers. He reports, "It's here." "Let's go," says ImhoTerror cheerfully, and Camper Chick rushes to her husband's side as the three men start to leave. But when they're out of earshot, ImhoTerror tells the fourth bad guy, "Kill them." Ooh, Campers not so lucky after all. I hope this means at least one less virgin for ImhoTerror when he reaches paradise. Bad Guy #4 approaches menacingly, and the Campers scream in panic as he raises his gun. On the plus side, I bet Camper Guy's not so stressed about work any more.
But Kiefer arrives just in time to take the bad guy down with two well-placed shots. He calls for a medic on his communicator. I don't know where he thinks the medic is coming from, since it's just the one CTU helicopter out there right now. Kiefer tells Camper Chick that her husband is going to be okay, and asks where the Football is. Camper Chick weepily says, "They have it. They went out that door. I'm sorry." Kiefer: "Don't be. You did great. Thank you." Aw. No medal, though. He gets back on his earpiece and barks, "Air support, two hostiles just left the building. I do not have possession of the Football." He rushes out in pursuit of ImhoTerror, leaving Camper Guy to bleed to death in peace. It's 11:50:02.