Episode Report Card M. Giant: B+ | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Unhappy Campers
By M. Giant | Season 4 | Episode 17 | Aired on 04.10.2005
It's 11:33:29 as ImhoTerror and his men stride in through the door that Camper Guy didn't bother to lock again. He orders his men to "find them." They fan out. The Campers, meanwhile, have just found the stairs leading down. Camper Chick says, "Wait -- what if it's a dead end?" Just then bullets start pinging around them, and dead end or no, they're out of options. They're going down one way or another. The terrorist who shot at them -- GameBoy Guy, as it happens -- tells the arriving ImhoTerror that they're chasing a man and a woman, and the whole group runs to the top of the staircase down which the fleeing couple disappeared. ImhoTerror orders GameBoy Guy to "follow them and flush them out," and the others to cut off the exits. Downstairs, the Campers reach the far end of the "lower level" and head up the stairs, just one turn ahead of GameBoy Guy the whole time. ImhoTerror hears the whirring blades of the helicopter arriving outside and tells his nearest minion, "Intercept it."
It's 11:35:32 as the chopper lands outside. Kiefer hops out, gun at the ready, as does a faceless doomed sidekick. This is Kiefer's tactical team? Him and another guy? They head towards the power station and the aircraft lifts off again. They reach an outbuilding just behind the station. Kiefer crouches down against the corrugated metal wall while the other agent hangs out about ten feet away from it, just asking to get shot. Kiefer's cell phone rings. "Where are you?" demands Camper Guy. Kiefer says he just landed and asks where Camper Guy is. He says they're in the lower level. Again, I suppose. But they're still moving, in any case. Just then the other agent gets his wish, as a machine gun with a ridiculously high rate of fire opens up from inside another nearby outbuilding, this one on stilts. Back when my friends and I were spending way too much of the late '90s playing Goldeneye on the Nintendo 64, there was one weapon in that game that fired about a hundred rounds per second. We called it the "bullet hose." The machine pistol that killed Kiefer's partner before the poor guy even got to say a line releases a similar deluge of lead. Kiefer returns fire with his little automatic handgun, but to little avail. Camper Guy, hearing the shots over the phone, fearfully calls Kiefer's name, knowing that if the cavalry gets its ass shot off, he doesn't stand much of a chance either. "You still there?" Kiefer says. Camper Guy says they can't keep hiding. Kiefer says he knows, and tells them to keep moving. He takes a few more potshots at Machine Gun Guy, then calls CTU and has Lispy Skip transfer him to DoDder, giving Skip his second of two lines this hour. Kiefer explains that he's under fire and the "other agent's been killed." "Other agent"? They're not even trying any more. Kiefer asks DoDder for the current code to open the Football.
While she's pulling it up, the Campers are climbing some ladder inside the building. GameBoy Guy isn't far behind, but he goes right past their hiding place. Whew. ["I felt like one of the Campers should have whaled GBG with the Football and snagged his weapon here. I know ImhoTerror had to get the Football, because there are seven episodes left, but still." -- Sars]