Episode Report Card Demian: D+ | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Piper Halliwell, Ph.D
By Demian | Season 8 | Episode 9 | Aired on 11.19.2005
Trudeau Memorial, formerly Andy's House Of Beef, formerly The Loneliest Precinct House In The World, where Ivan Sergei has an endless scene in which he finally restores custody of El Niño to Papí Ramón, and the only thing that pleases me about the whole scene, pointless as it is with regard to the overall plot, is its length, because there goes another whole two minutes' worth of this already-foreshortened episode that I can completely ignore. Hooray! I think I love you, Ivan Sergei! Papí Ramón eventually thanks Ivan Sergei, who replies, "Don't thank me -- thank the lady who found you." Papí Ramón's all, "Whaaaaaaa?" so Ivan clarifies with, "[Raige] Matthews? Beautiful lady? Great smile? A little wacky?" Raige has silently arrived in the hallway outside to hear all of this, and her eyes light up as she grins to herself before leaning against the doorframe. Ivan babbles some more unimportant stuff at Papí Ramón, who finally exits with El Squirmy Niño. Raige enters fully into the room to tease Ivan about the "great smile" comment, and she's non-twitchy and quite lovely throughout, and I'm quite happy to learn that they've decided to keep Ivan around for the rest of the season, and he and Raige flirt some more, and then it's...
...back to the Manor we go to find Phoebe staggering around aimlessly on the second floor. She lurches towards what I'm presuming to be her own boudoir when El Niño's left-behind baby blanket catches her eye, dangling as it is from poor, neglected, and doomed Tiny Gay Chris's empty bassinette, and oh, shit. I'd managed to forget about what follows completely since this episode originally aired. Long story short, El Niño's left-behind blanket hurls Phoebe into a full-color premonition in which she spots her future Alanis Morissette self picking her daughter up from school. It's the same little girl they used a year ago, by the way, and the two are wearing the same outfits they sported in Phoebe's Charisma-induced premonition during that episode. And then -- get this -- Phalanis stalks over to talk to Premonoebe. The hell? Since when...how is this...why can she...oh, fuck it. I so don't care anymore. Long story short, Phoebe's power has apparently advanced to the point where she can, I don't know, astrally project herself into the future to consult with herself, or something, and receives assurance from Phalanis that the future revealed during the Charisma-induced premonition is still most certainly available. Or whatever. Fuck you, Charmed. And with that, Premonoebe snaps out of it to find herself back at the Manor, where Piper's howling something at the Dolt about dragging along another pair of shoes. Piper catches sight of the unnaturally contemplative Feebs at the far end of the hall and ambles over to find out what gives. "Are you all right?" Piper wonders. "Yeah," Phoebe smiles without turning around, gazing down at El Niño's left-behind blanket. "Never better." Piper chooses not to pursue the matter at this moment, and Phoebe heaves a tremendous sigh as we finally fade to black.