Episode Report Card Demian: D+ | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Piper Halliwell, Ph.D
By Demian | Season 8 | Episode 9 | Aired on 11.19.2005
Once Phoebe and Piper have departed, Raige tries once more to raise The Retard via her cell, and why Raige doesn't just deploy her Whitelightery supernatural lo-jack to locate the lispy bimbo, I'll never know. Regardless, Raige gets no answer, but we do get flash-screened over to Not!warts, where The Retarded Bimbo pokes her head around a corner just in time to watch the still-unconscious vampire-faced demon twitch himself into a seizure before morphing back into his Krychek form. The Retard then eavesdrops on the demonic infighting that follows as Chad Allen -- here playing an entity called "Emrick" ["which I am choosing to view as a rude reference the Julie of the same name" -- Sars] -- conjures another Flaming Ball Of Death with which he intends to torch the twitchy and tribal-tattooed go-go boy in retaliation for the latter's earlier attack. Emrick's dissuaded from this by a duster-clad "soothsayer" who looks like a middle-aged version of Booger from Revenge of the Nerds. Seems someone called "Margoyle" has his own designs on the twitchy go-go boy and will be certain to toast Emrick's scrawny ass should anything happen to the afflicted demon. The afflicted demon in question settles the matter for everyone involved by choking a bit and spontaneously combusting right there on the floor, leaving behind a rather suspicious pile of smoking ash. "I didn't do that!" Emrick instantly protests. Not funny. Shut up, Chad Allen. The Retarded Bimbo takes advantage of the distraction provided by the demons' general consternation to sneak into Snidely's old office, where she begins ransacking the bookshelf in search of something or another. Unfortunately for her, Emrick caught sight of her oddly proportioned body just as it disappeared around the corner and now stands in the doorway in what I'm sure Chad Allen thought at the time of filming was a threatening manner, but it's Chad Allen we're talking about here. Girl, please. Get over yourself, honey. You're about as threatening as a marabou boa.
"Who are you?" Emrick demands. The Retard starts to bluff her way through a lamebrained excuse for her presence before she finally just flips Emrick onto his back on the floor and presses an athame against his throat, and Professional Homosexual Chad Allen just got his ass kicked by a girl. A retarded girl. Hee. The unbearably lispy Bimbo then hisses her way through a little tirade involving that missing sister of hers that nobody cares about and The Retard's ongoing search for same that I'll ignore because I hate her and want her dead. I will note, however, that The Retard's official last name is, apparently, "Jenkins." Also, The Retard biffs Professional Homosexual Chad Allen once more in the face before she finally exits the office. Again: Hee. Emrick glowers at The Retard's oddly proportioned and retreating form as a doorbell rings and the screen flares white to dump us back at...