Episode Report Card Jacob Clifton: A+ | 37 USERS: A+ YOU GRADE IT I Don't Actually Know What You Did Last Labor Day
By Jacob Clifton | Season 4 | Episode 22 | Aired on 03.04.2014
Ezra: "No, you have to read the book because of the depth and nuance of my discoveries."Aria: "Fine, I will read it. But I will not enjoy it. You are a terrible writer. Your poetry is terrible. Everything about you is terrible. You are the grave dirt at the bottom of my bed of life. Leave town."
"...Oh, and I believe this coupon is for you."
DATE
Travis: "I'm about to kill this dessert! Or make it look like it's dead, at least. I'm about to bury this dessert alive and then a witch is going to dig it up again and call it so it can talk to a trained parrot in Georgia. I'm about to teach this dessert to fly a plane wearing a mask of its own face and a wig of its own hair."
Hanna: "Go for it. Hey, do you mind if rather than ignoring you through our whole date, I just straight ditch you on it?"
Travis: "As long as you let me pay for this meal you didn't seem to eat."
Hanna: "It's okay, it's just that all of my friends are having separate but related crises and I'm constantly on the edge of fear that someone close to me will die, so when we have a meeting like this, it's usually pretty important."
Travis: "Okay hey but the next time we go on a date, can it be an actual date?"
Hanna: "Yeah. Smooch. Now is it is date? Now can I go?"
Travis: "That was a very Hanna Marin way to fix that. Good move. I will ask you out again."
LIARS
They wonder if Mona left the Paige note that sent the cops up Hanna and Jessica's ass -- to get Ezra back for making her dump Mikey -- but Hanna slowly figures out who really did it over the course of the scene.
Aria: "Everybody, I'm back! Sorry I deprived you of myself for so long, but I needed to do the Academic Decathlon dork version of Leaving Las Vegas to exorcise my Fitz demons. Then I immediately came home and went straight Fitz's house, and now I have something to report regarding his book. First, it is excellent but he doesn't need to know that..."
Emily: "Just, quickly, Mona dumped your brother and he blames you but it's because she's protecting him from Ezra. Anyway, go on."
Aria: "I don't mean to blow anybody's mind, I could hardly believe it myself, but the more I read the more I started to put the pieces together -- all the research Ezra did and hid from us, that could have saved us so much misery; all the fruitless searches, and so on -- it began to form, to coalesce as it were in my mind, condensing fact from the vapors of nuance, as if I slowly was reliving the form his search once began was fated to..."