Episode Report Card Jacob Clifton: A+ | 37 USERS: A+ YOU GRADE IT I Don't Actually Know What You Did Last Labor Day
By Jacob Clifton | Season 4 | Episode 22 | Aired on 03.04.2014
Spencer: "No offense but wasn't the whole point of this to make me less crazy?"
Veronica: "Yeah exactly."
Spencer: "Then why are you doing eighteen to twenty things right now calculated specifically to make me crazy?"
Spiderman: "I am certainly reasonable in addition to being hot. I am going to live in your barn, being slightly age-inappropriate."
Spencer: "I only get off on that if you're dating my sister. Are you dating Melissa? No. So how about you lay off the whole adorable 'I invented Facebook' thing you're doing with your face and go cobble some shoes or whatever."
Spiderman: "Did I mention I have a limitless supply of hugs to offer?"
Spencer: "Good point, where's Toby? I hope not somewhere super random such as London England."
SYRACUSE U
Aria: "My bad-ass road trip that I am on is, touring a college where my dad teaches."
Emily: "That is pretty hardcore."
Aria: "I have to go kiss a boy at a frat party whose hair goes straight up. This party has red cups, Beirut, eyeballing, and buttchugging. It was invented by parents."
Emily: "Who is this boy? Is he named Riley? They're always named that nowadays."
Aria: "He just makes me feel a certain way. As though I am a regular high school student in the mornings, but a high-profile fashion executive in the afternoons, and nobody knows about my double life except for him, and this makes me feel protected by him, and his hair, and he doesn't believe in shirts, just music. And freedom. We also have in common thinking that me being a vegetarian is the most interesting thing in the world."
Next morning, Aria and this Riley fella are languid and barfing and hung over and giggly. He has muscles just about everywhere, and his hair still goes straight up. You know that kind of guy that wears tight jeans and no shirt, just a necklace, and will play the guitar whenever he feels moved to do that? Yeah, it does sound hideous, I agree, but then you think about Aria and it's like, What she needs is one of those guys.
One of those necklace-guitar-treasure-trail guys that is a gentleman and also a poet or musician and is untouched by cynicism because he is from some dumb small town where they don't even have a movie theater so all they have to do for fun is apparently crunches. One of those guys with that certain quality you can't put a name on, but if you tried to describe it, that quality would be something like, "Not an adult who is molesting you."