Episode Report Card Demian: B- | 159 USERS: C+ YOU GRADE IT Revenge Of The Big Gay Done One (Part The Second)
By Demian | Season 5 | Episode 23 | Aired on 2003.05.11
The highest point possible appears to be in front of a green screen, for that's where Phoebe and Raige find Piper. As effects technicians frantically plug stock footage of a stormy Bay Area into the background, Piper stands in a torrent of soundstage rain, directing the occasional "thunderbolt" at "the Transamerica Pyramid." Phoebe and Raige orb in beneath an enormous golf umbrella and beg Piper to return to the Manor. The Woefully Neglected Done One needs her! Doesn't she understand that? Piper stares silently at them, then swirls from the rainswept hilltop set…
…over to the Whitelighterland bathhouse. Wow. Holly Marie Combs looks fantastic with wet hair. And can you tell I'm over this episode already? The Dolt asks the other ever-useless Elders for a little alone time with the insane ball-and-chain. The other ever-useless Elders meekly comply, for the Dolt is now their all-powerful and ultra-fabulous leader, or some such bullshit. Piper finally finds her voice, and uses it to rip the Dolt a new one for abandoning his family. I sort of care, until the Dolt starts blithering about how their "transcendent love" allowed him to move to a higher plane. Shut up, Dolt. Piper finally allows her human emotions to wash over her and, weeping, surrenders her goddessy goodness. The final bit of on-loan Mythological Mojo emerges from her body and heads back into the super-secret vault, presumably never to be used again. Piper sobs some more as she frets about raising their son on her own, especially after the Dolt reluctantly admits that he doesn't know when he'll be able to see them again. The Dolt offers to "help [her] find peace" through his new powers. Piper, wary, insists that he'll not be able to wipe out her memories of him. Pity, that. God knows, if he could wipe out my memories of him, I'd leap at the chance. The Dolt hugs her, the two get that heavenly, sick-making golden glow about them, and the screen flares white.