Episode Report Card Demian: B- | 159 USERS: C+ YOU GRADE IT Revenge Of The Big Gay Done One (Part The Second)
By Demian | Season 5 | Episode 23 | Aired on 2003.05.11
Raige makes it through Chris's considerably tidier speech, then vanquishes the upright piano over in the corner. Piper's furious, and insists that her husband "must have lost it up there," because her addled siblings "can't be seen in public" in their current condition, much less be expected to battle three-thousand-year-old demonic entities. Aphrophoebe naturally takes this as her cue to spin away to The Bay Mirror's charity bachelor auction at P3. She takes off in a small pink whirlwind that shoots out a giant Valentine's heart, as if her method of transportation were designed by the same graphic "artists" who gave us Love, American Style's opening credits sequence thirty-five years ago. Rathena gets a crazed look in her eyes, and bolts out of the Manor to gather some bootlicking toadies of her own. No, seriously. She disappears in a blaze of blue lightning bolts. Piper freaks, and demands that Chris orb after them. Chris is all, "Sorry, Mom. That's your job." The Dolt turned Piper into a latter-day Demeter to provide the Glamorous Goddesses with some of that earthy-crunchy Mother Nature balance. Piper snots something about already having a Whitelighter to lecture and guide her, and that if said Whitelighter wants her to go after her stupid sisters, he can damn well come down from Heaven and tell her himself. "You want Dad?" Chris retorts. "Then vanquish the Titans. If you can't do that, then you'll find out what a world of darkness feels like." "My world," he reminds her after a beat, for emphasis. Piper, finally, has been struck dumb. Thank you, Big Gay Chris!