Episode Report Card Jacob Clifton: A+ | 62 USERS: A YOU GRADE IT If Our World is Their Heaven
By Jacob Clifton | Season 5 | Episode 2 | Aired on 10.06.2013
Alicia: "Maybe. Hell, maybe part of me relishes the idea of abandoning her before she gets to abandon me. Who the hell knows what goes on up here."Veronica: "You know, I did like Owen."
Alicia: "I always had that impression. Did you know that other people liked me? I was a charming kid, I think. Certainly likeable."
Veronica: "Sometimes I wish we could just start over. I think we'd be better at this."
Alicia: "I think it would be better, now."
Veronica: "You're not allowed to cry! I'm the one that got stood up tonight. I'm the one that's alone."
Alicia: "You're fishing for a you have a family that I will never, ever give you -- because see above re: you are a shitty mother -- but I will cry, and give you a little WASPy hug."
Veronica: "And I will allow that for as long as I can bear it."
NSA CASE
The AUSA calls up this intensely Old Jewish Guy guy, Simon Fishbein, to talk about how many grandkids he has, and then talk about this problem he had where ChumHum allowed Holocaust deniers to organize on their site. (ChumHum, like all the other made-up sites on this show, makes no sense at all, but I guess the analogy is to Google Groups or something like that.) Simon clearly did not care for this, so then just to underline it in the most grotesque, cynical way possible, the AUSA asks him to please roll up his shirtsleeves, etc.
So the idea is that Simon Fishbein is incapable of understanding this particular case of "free speech," and put together a group of people to complain in writing about it, and they got a form letter back in which Simon's name was spelled wrong. It is pointed out that a breastfeeding group was subject to removal, but not these creeps. Then the Zionist Defense Council, a rum bunch I'm sure, organized a boycott about it... Which happened to start on the very day share prices started dropping and users started leaving because of the gag order. It is some very sexy law-doing, if you'd simply left out the actual Auschwitz tattoo. Yikes, NSA lawyer.
DIANE
Eli: "What happens if you don't do it? What happens if you don't do it? WHAT HAPPENS IF YOU DON'T DO IT?"
Diane: "Seriously though. It was softball trashiness, I couldn't even spin it. I had no option but to freeze her out. That girl doesn't have a soft touch."
Eli throws down a bunch of M-80s and while they're going off, sets fire to her drapes. He literally goes, "WHAT'S DONE IS DONE."