Episode Report Card Jacob Clifton: A+ | 62 USERS: A YOU GRADE IT If Our World is Their Heaven
By Jacob Clifton | Season 5 | Episode 2 | Aired on 10.06.2013
Neil: "I am only ever able to think in terms of outsourcing my ego, like, what matters to me is not doing good works but being applauded at a TED Talk for doing good works. And this godforsaken gag order means I can't do it. How will people know we held our ground despite NSA subpoenas and user-info requests, unless I shout it very loudly and obnoxiously at them and then they clap?"
Cary: "Well, I'm glad you came to us with this..."
Neil: "[Bitchy.]"
Cary: "[Stares into space for an oddly long time, processing for the first time in his life what it feels like to be disrespected. Does not care for it one bit.]"
Alicia: "Um, sue the NSA. The National Security Agency. For anything. You can't tell people they're gagging you, so look like they're gagging you."
Neil: "Anything? That's not a lot of creativity, sue them for..."
Carey: "Prior restraint. Banning the expression of an idea prior to its publication."
Cary: "And also we can call all the tech companies. Real ones like Google and Yahoo, and dumb made-up ones like ChumHum and SleuthWay. They happen to be in town for Tech Week, which happens to be this week."
Neil: "I know, that's why I am here to whine at you."
As they're phoning Kalinda about how they're suing the NSA, the NSA hears them talking about suing the NSA. Which is interesting, but not as interesting as a video of a goat that screams like a man.
ESTATE PLANNING
David Lee: "Money money blah blah blah."
Veronica: "Have you ever been married, Mr. Liebenbaum?"
David Lee: "No, because I am absolutely horrible. And pretty gay, even though I don't seem to know it."
Veronica: "You know what you are is a carnivore. A jungle cat!"
David Lee: "Well, it's dangerous here on the savannah..."
Alicia: "-- Whatever is happening in this conference room where everybody can see you, cut it the fuck out. David Lee, go back to your infernal lair. Mom, what the hell do you want."
Veronica: "Just to act weird and make your life hard, like always."
ALICIA'S OFC
Alicia: "Veronica, go wait outside like a common cur while I talk to my secret best friend about our secret plan to secretly fuck all these people in this office."
Veronica: "I would much prefer to move your furniture around and eavesdrop on your conversation."