Episode Report Card Demian: C | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Witless Protection
By Demian | Season 7 | Episode 10 | Aired on 11.27.2004
...the sun porch, where Phoebe continues to beam beatifically. "She's smiling," Piper observes, stating the obvious. "That's good, right?" "She's seeing utopia," Cordelia explains. "No demons, beyond good and evil." Suddenly, Cordelia gasps and flinches backwards as another premonition hits her and travels through her hands into Phoebe's mind. The camera snaps towards Phoebe's suddenly shocked and pained face before we jump into a blurred, sepia-toned sequence wherein Cordelia races into an underground chamber and finds her way blocked by a slowly advancing and deathly calm Zankou. "You betrayed me," he smirks. "Now you pay." He flings out both hands, and swarms of those bee-like things zip out of his palms to engulf Cordelia, who howls and flails and beats at the things before erupting into a gout of flame. The camera shoots back from Phoebe's eye as the vision ends. "What?" Piper demands. "What was it?" "I saw the most beautiful thing ever," Phoebe breathes before gazing at Cordelia and adding, "and the most terrible." Whatever. You think you have it bad? You try sitting through Patricia fucking Heaton's Christmas commercials for Jewel five times in one hour. Slag.
And we're back. The Manor foursome pass into the center parlor to process through recent events, with Phoebe ever more convinced that Brody's a threat, now that he intends to destroy something that could potentially bring about the peaceful existence she experienced in Cordelia's vision of utopia. Piper's still not quite buying it, so Cordelia confesses that she quite honestly saw nothing disturbing in the Avatars' plan for the world, aside from the fact that, you know, as a demon, she'd be among the vanquished. For backup, she turns to the Dolt, whose filthy secret she's ready to reveal. "What about you, [Dolt]?" she challenges him. "Are you gonna tell her, or shall I?" The Dolt fidgets a bit before beginning, "Apparently, what she's seen is that I know the Avatars are good." He pauses for effect before adding, "Because I'm an Avatar." "What?" Piper bites. "That's insane. What does that mean?" Phoebe can't believe he's been living in their house as an Avatar without telling them. "I'm still the same [Dolt]," he protests. Piper continues to freak, but it's more about the Dolt's ongoing deception than it is about his newfound Fabulous Avatarity. Cordelia cuts through the shrieking and the babbling to remind them all that her life's on the line. Phoebe immediately proposes she accompany the Dolt to plead Cordelia's case to the ever-useless Elders, as she can somehow share the vision of utopia with them. She turns to Cordelia and quickly explains, "Piper's gonna help you get your stuff together for your new life." This is clearly news to Piper, who remains silent nonetheless. Heh. Phoebe babbles something flattering and kind about the dress that matches the earrings Cordelia stole before linking her arm in the Dolt's, promising to return quickly with the appropriate spell. The Dolt orbs out, leaving Cordelia alone with a decidedly unamused Piper.