Episode Report Card Demian: C | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Witless Protection
By Demian | Season 7 | Episode 10 | Aired on 11.27.2004
"This isn't a really good time," the Dolt opens, stating the obvious. Uniqua assures him they wouldn't have interrupted had the current situation not warranted so drastic an intrusion. "Someone has information that could bring the sisters to us," she continues, her eyes unnaturally bright, "to help them see the beauty of our way." "She's under attack by demons," I'm Not Candy adds. "You must save her and bring her home so she can share what she knows." The Dolt's all, "Okay! No problem! I'll get on that right away! And you just let me know when I should whack off my nuts, where I should pick up a pair of those fun black Nikes for the space ship, and how much cyanide I should dump into the Kool-Aid, okay, guys? You're the best!" Or maybe he says nothing of the sort and simply repositions himself by his family. Once he's done so, the other Avatars flare out, and time resumes. The second the photographer's reactivated strobes dim, the Dolt bends to inform Piper he's got to motor, pronto. Piper leaps to her feet to get loud, but the Dolt just pushes past her to the door, calling over his shoulder, "You have keys to the car, right?" Piper fumes.
Down in a section of Hell liberally strewn with the skeletal remains of the damned, a demon hurls a Flaming Ball Of Death at a woman who flies across a boulder to cower in the dirt on the other side. The first FBOD plows into the rock, but the demon instantly conjures another while sneering something about its intended recipient's traitorous nature as his friends cheer him on. The Dolt orbs in to interrupt the vanquishing party, however, and immediately sporks one of the demons, who promptly howls and wails and blazes his merry way down to The Waste Land. The others immediately whirl about to fling FBODs at the Dolt's gigantic and scary gargoyle head -- and my God, that's an easy target -- but the Dolt tosses up some sort of shimmery deflection shield that causes the FBODs to ricochet and zoom back to their various points of origin, obliterating all but one of the remaining demons, who smokes out before the Dolt can unleash another massive spray of sporking electricity. The Dolt hustles to the far end of the chamber to discover that the imperiled woman is actually Cordelia Chase. "This can't be right," he frowns as he stoops to gather her up in his arms, and Brian Krause needs to hit the gym a little more often, because he's really struggling to hoist tiny Cordelia off the ground here. Heh. Cordelia flings her arms around his neck, tosses her stringy mane of hair around, and flirtatiously croons, "My hero!" D'oh! The flustered Dolt purses his monkey lips and harrumphs his way into the opening credits.